Kochappan, Karunakaran and Chicken shit.

The last I heard from him, he was in Sri Lanka. He had mentioned to me that he was released by the LTTE militants who had kept him captive,after he identified himself as 'The Kochappan' of Kochappan mails and the blog hero. The reason of his release, he secretly learnt, is their fear of his unleashing lessons in English, under captivity. They felt that they are better equipped to suffer the bombs dropped by the Lankan Airforce than suffering his lessons in English.

They don't know what they are missing !.

Keeping in line with his request for noting the important news items, and feeding him with that through Email, I had prepared the following news items and sent them for his nourishment,at his breakfast. Here are some of them with his responses & comments.

Nairobian Giant cobra - This is a new species of giant 'Spitting Cobra', about 2.5m long has enough venom to kill 20 people in one bite.The 'Naja Ashei species' is named after it's founder James Ashe, the owner of a Kenyan snake farm. It can be identified by it's 'black neck'.

Kochappan responded thus - This is no great discovery by the Kenyan. We have been having such cobras in India, particularly in Kerala, for years. They may be 5 to 6 ft long. They are found in different colours here, instead of black. They are seen in Tri colour, Red, Green and Saffron colours.They move around freely without any fear and pose as if they own the land.
They can spit poison and kill not just twenty but anything which comes across them.They 'hiss'
not from their hidings, but from the platforms through audio equipments, esp during the election season.

Doris Lessing, the British Novelist , Nobel Laureate in Literature - She could not attend the function but sent her lecture ' On not winning the Nobel Prize' which was read out by her British editor Nicholas Pearson.

Kochapps said - This is no big surprise news either. Salim - Javed had prepared a half an hour speech on 'Not winning the Nobel Prize' when their fiction 'DEEWAR' was rejected in the competition for Nobel. But then later on, the film made on this fiction won the 'Filmfare Award' and that went a long way in assuaging the hurt feelings of S&J . Even Vinayan, whose
' Vasanthiyum, Lakshmiyum pinne Janum' had the same fate. The Nobel committee, Vinyan says, had informed him that it's the length of the title that cost him the award.

Karunakaran's return to congress- After vociferously abusing Sonia Gandhi and her leadership the former CM of Kerala is now singing in her praise and is awaiting her permission to join congress.

I didn't get the return mail with his comments. He called me up to tell me about his return trip from Sri lanka.
After that talk I mentioned about the news about Karunakaran's request to Sonia Gandhi to take him back.

'Man is the only animal who blushes ; or needs to.' wrote Mark Twain.
''Karunakaran needs to'' said Kochappan.

'' I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad'' Lyndon Johnson said that about Richard Nixon. Take it from me, Aniyan. Sonia Gandhi also ought to know that much''. These were last words of the day from Kochapps from Sri Lanka.

I am awaiting his arrival. I miss him; his words, and wisdom, very badly.

menon ( aniyan )

Abraham Lincoln, Gandhiji, and Kochappan.

'' I have done nothing to make any human being remember that I have lived. yet what I wish to live for is to connect my name with the events of my day and generation, to link my name with something which will be of interest to my fellow men.''

Abraham Lincoln ( 1809-1865 )

Kochappan used to quote this frequently, saying that the purpose of his life is also the same; to provide something of interest to his fellow men.

Steven Spielberg's movie "The Close Encounters of the Third kind" gives you an audio visual idea of three encounters with the UFOs (Un identified Flying Objects).

'Heard but never seen.'
'Heard and seen', and
'Coming in actual contact with the object'

Having had the fortune of having the close encounter of the third kind with Kochappan I have been at the receiving end of matters of interest from him.

Let me relate to you and provide you with some of them.

I sent him a mail of ' Heartfelt Congratulations' on his receiving 35th Anniversary Commemorative Award for Management Services from the ICRISAT, a UN organisation, at Sri Lanka two days back.

In reply, instead of thanking me for the message, he corrected my English and mentioned that
though 'Heartfelt' means sincere, it's normally used with sadness like 'Heartfelt' condolences,
and that I should have used the word 'Hearty' if I meant what I sent. This is what he wants to
provide people during his life time.

Many a time in my life have I got such invaluable guidance from him, a few of them I would like to relate to less fortunate people like you, who have not had the 3rd type of close encounter with him.

When I was infactuated with a young lass of surpassing beauty during my adolescence, he had warned me that though she is like 'pure snow' to look at she has a tendency to drift like snow, and that if she drifts like what she was doing then, she would end up like the 'Indian Railway' ; laid right across the country.

Once when I used the expression, 'I want to have the cake and eat it too', he admonished me by saying that I should have said 'I want to eat the cake and have it too' to mean what I really meant.

When I reminded him to put his 'best foot forward' when he was entering his newly built flat
at Hyderabad he asked me sarcastically whether he had the option of 'good' and 'better' foot to choose! Such is his brilliance!

In another occasion while travelling long distance by train he asked me ''If a turtle loses it's shell
is it naked or homeless?'' Another occasion when we were in his car he asked why one gets
'in' and 'out' of a car but gets 'on' and 'off' a bus. Questions of sheer brilliance which made me think.

He advised me not to 'assume' things in life because it will make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'.

To impress upon me the necessity to know about great people and their lives he used ask me questions about them. One late evening,while sitting and sipping a cup of tea in his balcony he asked whether I knew what one leg of Marilyn Monroe say to the other when she was dead and laid in the coffin. I couldn't give the answer. '' At last we are together''. He gave the answer himself.
'' Between you and me we have made lot of money'' ; before being buried, at the end of a long journey of life, that was what one leg of Marilyn in it's last conversation to other said; with a sigh of relief.''These might sound a bit lewd, indecent. But see the construction of the sentences
and the clarity of expression'' .He added.
Profound knowledge; that was what he was parting with .

He taught me that 'History' is about past and I need not say 'Past history', that I need not 'lift up' (because I cannot lift anything down) nor 'raise it up', he doesn't like getting 'free gifts' and 'advance warning' and that I should not ' mix things together' and that he won't 'repeat again' these lessons.

While on the topic of history he told me that they were called 'Romans' , because those people had the habit of roaming around.

I can go on with examples of his attempts to be of use to people. The one such saying of his which I still remember is the one he told me on the day of my marriage.

''Aniyan, a happiness of life is having a loving,caring, and close knit family; in another city''

That could be the reason why he goes on frequent tours to cities of Syria, Africa and SriLanka.

Like Gandhiji he practises what he preaches. Such is his greatness !!!

menon ( aniyan )

Paris Hilton and the elephants of Meghalaya.

'' Conservationists on Tuesday hailed the socialite Paris Hilton, who has been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol, for trying to highlight the cause of 'Rice Beer' drinking elephants in the northeast.'' I read the news headline and had a genuine doubt.

We, Menons, by tradition, donot like carrying doubts in our respective minds for too long. It's unnecessary; carrying doubts and walking around; esp when brilliant people like Kochappan is up and around.

I asked him ''Doesn't the head line suggest that Paris Hilton was driving around in drunken state and got arrested to highlight the plight of the elephants.?''

Kochappan looked at me. Lord Parama Shiva is the only other known person to have a look like that, which I presume, can make the receiving end burn and turn ash in colour. Ash colour we all know, is not associated with glamour or good looks of men.

''You idiot'' he said thus.'' The Hindu paper head lines are written by world class journalists. If you can't understand good English keep quiet. Read it once gain and make sense.''

We were at the airport lounge waiting for the security check call. Kochapps was leaving for Syria.

I read the head line once again.Things didn't improve much.

What is Paris Hilton?. You might ask.Well I had made a mention about her in connection with the Pamela Anderson case. To recap, she is one of those actresses of Holly Wood who fills her sweaters well.Not to the level Pam Anders or Bipasha of Bollywood does but good enough to be in business.

''Read it and tell me more about that news?'' Kochappan was arranging some papers in his brief case.

'' The wild elephants of Assam, of late, have got into the habit of getting drunk on the farmers home made 'Rice Beer', and going on rampage destroying farms etc.This alcoholism among elephants of Meghalaya is growing and is causing concern among the conservationists and animal lovers.'' I summed up the story. ''Paris Hilton came to know of this alarming news when she was attending the fifth wedding of Pamela Anderson in New York. She left the function in a hurry ; concerned.

'' The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. we need to stop making alcohol available to them.'' She said to the World Entertainment News Network, the same evening.

'' Five elephants have died of Cirrhosis of liver and three more have been diagnosed for that''
a concerned Paris Hilt told press reporters on her arrival at the airport in Tokyo yesterday, on her way to Guwahati in India to study the problem.

'' We are happy that she ( Paris Hilt) has taken note of this incident and is coming to Guwahati to prevent elephants from consuming farmers home made Rice Beer and dying of Cirrhosis''
said Sangeeta Goswami, who heads Animal Rights Group of animals in India.

Soumyadeep Dutta of 'Natures Beckon' a conservationist group said that Elephant alcohol abuse is a real problem and it will get a boost by the visit of a person who is known in this field of
alcohol abuse.

On being asked by a correspondent about Pamela's expertise and credentials in this issue of alcohol abuse, Soumya in her deep voice replied '' Nobody from Hollywood can have more credentials and commitment in this matter than Paris Hilt.Like Mahatma Gandhi has courted
arrest and jail for the cause of freedom of India, Paris has been arrested and has spent time in jail for alcohol abuse.Such is her commitment to it.Jailed not once, but several times !'' .

I conveyed the news item to Kochappan thus; sat back had a sip of coffee and added my impressions about the news.'

'' An actress from Hollywood like Paris Hilt is concerned about the growing alcoholism of elephants of India.Has any body from Bollywood shown any concern ; Has Rani Mukherjee uttered a word about?. They have no patriotism.''

'' Why do you call her Paris Hilt.? Is she not Paris Hilton as you were mentioning earlier.?'' The genuineness of his doubt was apparent from his voice.

" That's how I call her affectionately''. I said decidedly.His jaw, the lower one, was about to fall but he managed to hold it. Some silken voice announced the security check. We stood up.

Then he asked me. ''Aniyan do you know the difference between tragedy and calamity?.''

Without waiting for my answer he said. ''The fact that I am leaving you now and will not be seeing you for over a month is a tragedy.But if the security check and the flight departure were to be delayed, then sitting here, and listening to you about Paris Hilt would have been a calamity''.
I knew that he was taking a dig at me. If you ask Kochappan ' What is it that you can put down without lifting up.?' he would say 'Aniyan'. This was one such put down.

How much and what would he know about me and my Paris Hilt, and of course the elephants of Meghalaya?.


menon ( aniyan )

Mallur kaadukal (The Mallur Forests)

'' This is not a very old story. Yes,it's about those times; the bridge across the river at Kuttipuram was not there then.

Stray travellers to south, far and few, had to cross the river by ferry boats. Once you cross the river,the pathway to reach south of Kuttipuram was only through the Mallur Kaad (Mallur forest).
The sands of the river bed and the pathway has lot of stories to tell; gory stories of robberies
and murders of travellers ending up in 'Mallur kayam'. ''

'' What is Mallur Kayam?'' asked Naveen the six year old grandson of his neighbour;he drops in at night to hear stories from Kochappan and fall asleep.It's almost a regular affair. Today I also joined the story listening session. I sat on the floor stretched my legs in front and leaned on to the cot. Cool breeze blew in. It was quiet.Ideal for story listening session.

'' Mallur is a point in that jungle path. There was a huge trench filled with water; unused, un touched and filthy; quite deep too.That's Mallur kayam.''
'' Tell me the story''. Naveen was impatient.

Kochapps continued. '' The ferry man was a crooked and wicked fellow. He had a wife and a son, 10 years old.This man used to give information, about the arrival of travellers by his boat, to a gang of robbers. These robbers used to waylay people, rob them,kill them, and throw their body into the Mallur kayam. They used to give a share of the things robbed to the ferry man also.''

Naveen was listening with concentration written on his face. Let me admit; so was I. Long time since I listened to a story;Chittappan (uncle) used to tell similar ones years back.

'' One day the ferry man, for some silly reason, got angry with his son. He heated an iron rod and pressed that on to his son's legs above his knee ; like he used to brand the cattle whenever he bought a new one for identification. His poor mother couldn't stop the ferry man from doing it.
The mother was in agony seeing her son writhing in pain.The ferry man never repented any wrong he did in his life.''

I could see the pain in Naveen's eyes.

'' One day the boy didn't return from the forest where he had gone to collect firewood. The mother waited; for days and days. He never came back.The mother grew sick and died few months later. The father continued his activities and helped the robbers ; ate , drank well and lived.''
Kochappan was intense in his narration. It was not listening. It was seeing; the story.

'' And one day came a traveller who looked rich.As usual the ferry man signalled to the robbers about the arrival.The traveller refused to part with the money he had. They killed him by by cutting his throat. Took away all he had and gave the ferry man his share and left.''

'' And then it happened'' Kochappan continued.'' While taking the body to be thrown into the Mallur kayam the ferry man noticed a mark on the thigh of the traveller. It was the burn mark; the scar of the wound he had inflicted on his son years back.The wound had healed but the scar remained.He had returned after years of exile to see his parents.It was a moment of realisation for the ferry man of all the wrong things he has done in his life.He dragged the body and threw it into the kayam.Feeling repentent about the atrocities he had commited ,he also jumped into the trench and commited suicide.'' Kochappan finished the story.

Naveen nestled closer to Kochappan. He was a bit scared.Naveen liked the story. He was probably turning the story over and over again in his mind.

Kochappan looked at me. He was stroking the head of Naveen to comfort him, to put him to sleep.

'' Are things any different now?'' he broke the silence posing a question; to himself, to me, to no one in particular.

'' There is one Jessica Lal cut to pieces, loaded on to an oven and roasted;not in Mallur kayam or Chambal forest. In Delhi, not by robbers but by rulers. Now such things happen every day These children will have lot of stories to narrate like I did to day.They do not take place in forests but within the cities. They are not done by ferry men but men of power and pride.They don't hide in the forests or valleys. They walk around under the flash light of cameras. They come by BMWs, Skodas , loot, kill, rape and go scot free.''

The moral anger flared up in him.He finished his soliloquy.

A 'soliloquy' as defined in the Oxford Dictionary, is, the act of talking when alone or regardless of any listeners, esp, in drama. If you have a clinical hatred towards the usage 0f such dramatic words for such a simple situation, may I compare it to the delivery of a monologue by Amitab or
(if you are particular about south) Rajanikanth.

After finishing that 'Soliloquy' or 'dialogue' he looked at me.I was overawed by his diligent summing up of the two different scenarios , of the past and the present. I sat there looking at him admiring his capacity to narrate a folk tale to a six year old with the same expertise with which he used to teach me nuances of British and American English. Amazing man this Kochappan!
After covering Naveen with ablanket he turned and saw me sitting and staring at him.

'' Why do you sit there and look like an envelope without an address written on it?''

I smiled in reply; looked at Naveen. He was blissfully asleep.

I couldn't get sleep when I went to bed.

No, its not the sad story of the ferry man and his son.It was this mention about me and the 'envelope without address on it' that I couldn't understand.

Hats off to Kochappan!. He always speaks things which people can't understand.

I must ask him about it tomorrow!


menon ( aniyan )

'The Californian Fire'

The name of the Drama.

The Californian Fire

The persons of the play

Kochappan - Hero
Aniyan- Hero's friend

Mrs. Kochappan- Kochappan's wife; obviously.

Mrs. Aniyan- Aniyan's wife; obviously


ActI. sceneI.

Kerala. Kochi.

Monday.
Time: 7.30am. The scene opens in the drawing room of Aniyan's Manor.

Aniyan is seated in a chair reading 'Malayala Manorama' news paper. Mrs.Aniyan enters with a cup of hot coffee. She smiles at him and places the cup closer to his lip. Aniyan holds the cup to avoid 'a slip between the cup and the lip'. Having succeded in that he has a sip and turns to the paper. Mrs.Aniyan floats out to back stage.

The telephone rings. Aniyan reaches for it without taking his eyes off Manorama; no that's not the house maid sweeping the floor, but the morning news paper.

Aniyan's expression changes to that of great concern. He drops the paper and rushes inside, returns in trousers sporting a civilised look.

He searches for and gains possession of his automobile key.

Mrs.Aniyan. ''What happened? where are you going?''

Aniyan. ''To comfort Kochappan. He is in deep distress''

Mrs Aniyan. ''What has become of him? I beseech thee. Tell me''. Mrs Aniyan was in Shakesperian style.

Aniyan while moving away. ''It's Californian fire, USA make''.

Mrs Aniyan stands with mouth and eyes wide open.
The sound of the car starting and speeding away.

ActI. sceneII

Kochappan's Mansion surrounded by neatly pruned trees.
Sound of crickets and chirping of birds.

Mrs. Kochappan floats in and around the garden.

Sound of an automobile approaching. The automobile speeds in, comes to a screeching halt.
The door opens. Aniyan comes out and runs up the steps to the mansion and vanishes into the building.

Mrs.Kochappan watches the vanishing Aniyan with open eyes; her jaws fallen. She regains composure and reinstates her fallen jaw.

ActI. Scene III

Kochappan's chamber. Huge bed at the center and a huge wall clock with swinging pendulam facing the bed. Big oil painting of Ravi Varma adorns the wall.

Kochappan is on the Persian carpet on the floor; occasionally writhing as though in terrible pain.
Aniyan enters, bends down and sits near him on the floor.

Aniyan. ''I pray you! tell me the cause of this distress!'' Touches him. Gradually Kochappan quietens.

Aniyan helps him to his bed. Gives him nourishments.

Kochappan revives and speaks. ''I am distressed since I saw the news programme on BBC this morning''.

Aniyan. ''What could be the piece which caused this agony?''

Kochappan. ''The fire in California in US''.

Aniyan. ''Any of your relatives affected?'' in Indian English.

Kochappan. ''No. Lot of dignitaries lost their homes including Hollywood celebrities''.

How does it concern him? Aniyan thought.

Aniyan. ''Any celebrity of your aquaintance?''

Kochappan. '' Yes. Pamela Anderson''.

Aniyan lapses into thoughts. Till I mentioned about her yesterday, he never knew her. What is his concern? Aniyan keeps his stray thoughts in the oak chest near the bed because he knows that Kochappan doesnot relish anybody's thoughts straying around in his chamber unnecessarily.

Kochappan. ''You apprised me about the journey of that lady from rags to riches in Hollywood. I remember your generous appreciation for her mind and body. You mentioned about her devotion to the career in the field of dramatics; her willingness to accept the challenge of dropping the clothes at the slightest suggestion of her movie directors, even in the freezing weather of American winter. Remarkable! Remarkable !''

Aniyan listens with rapt attention. His face bears a solemn look.
Refrains of Beethovan's music flows into the stage from the background.

Kochappan (adds as if with Abacus) ''I was consumed by pity for her when BBC reported about Pamela Losing her home in the major fire which engulfed California. Many a people would have lost but Pamela's loss ... ''Kochappans voice chokes with emotion. He holds his head in his hands and bends down. Aniyan moves near him; whispers sweet nothings in his ears. Comforts him.

Aniyan. ''Please donot be concerned about Pamela. She has been quoted to be saying that she intends to divorce her latest marriage to benefit from it and to make up for her loss of home''

Kochappan. "Divorce and benefit? Pray, don't be foolish, Aniyan, my bosom friend''.

Aniyan.'' She has said that she is a good home maker because everytime she divorces she makes a home from her ex-husband. She has three homes from her three divorces and this will be her fourth one. And for her luxuries of life she will work hard and never waste time being outside her bed''

Kochappan's face lights up. Aniyan moves closer to Kochappan, embraces him and departs.

The End


This is how I had to write to you about today's incidents; because today was a day of dramatic events. I swear on God ! It was dramatic, literally!!

menon ( aniyan )

Pamela and Kochappan's breathing.

"Pamela Anderson got married''. That's the first thing I told him this evening. I was meeting kochapps after a week or so.

"Who is she?'' Kochappan asked me with tremendous dis interest.

''Famous actress of Hollywood like MarilynMonroe and Ursula Andress'', I related to two of the actresses of our generation. ''Now Ursula is 68 and Monroe has gone under the earth, probably inspiring cabbages there'', I completed.

"She was known as Ursula undress because in most of her films she used to shed her clothes without any provocation'', Kochappan stopped . His breathing became heavy. No, he is not an Asthma patient. It's the recollection of Ursula undress. He recovered from his recollection fairly quickly.

But I never guessed that he will lapse into another bout of breathlessness; it happened
when I showed him the photograph of Pamela Anderson. He had a look at it. Then he started gasping.

The next thing he asked me was a peg of Gin; as usual I served it Cordial ly.

''Marylin used to work a lot to do justice to her career. She used to sweat it out and 'Dramatic art', in her opinion, was filling her sweater. Pamela also belongs to that category of actresses who fill their sweater admirably well.'' The Gin had soothened Kochappan's nerves. '' What about her marriage?'' The question followed.

"Pamela Anderson is as misunderstood an actress as Urs undress. Pamela's mission in life is to provide people, in these days of hardship, some moments of entertainment which she does on and off screen. She is a path breaker and has done her lot to develop and encourage the younger generation''

'' Like what?'' he was getting interested in Pamela.

'' Like in her marriages. She always married people who are younger to her by at least 4 to 5 years'', I answered; in simple English.

'' Marriages? Youngsters?'' He couldn't understand the concept; it wasn't the English as I had thought.

''Yes. She married Rick Salomon, 32, 8 years younger to her, in Les Vegas last week. It was not that Rick was unmarried. His marriage with Paris Hilton was going bad. Paris Hilton, who is also Pam's friend, requested her to look after Rick and develop him to be a good husband. Pamela took upon this responsibility and got married to Rick, putting an end to her marriage with Tommy Lee. Meanwhile Paris Hilton got married to Jack Straw and is developing him.''

''Wait. Hold on,'' Kochappan interrupted me. ''Go slow. I am not able to catch up with the scenario fully. What is Paris Hilton? Who is Tommy Lee?''

''Paris Hilton is another actress who also belongs to the 'fill- the- sweater- school' of actresses;
not as much gifted as the other two, but striving hard.

Tommy Lee is another actor whom Pamela developed when his first marriage went to rocks.''

I looked at Kochappan. For the third time today I noticed his breathing becoming heavier.

I continued un mindfully, ''Pamela the path breaker turned up in a two piece bikini for her first marriage with Tommy, but appeared in a Jeans and shirt for the third one''.

''Third one? What about her second marriage?'' Kochappan's breathing was becoming heavier.

''There are no clear records or data available anywhere of her second marriage. Pamela herself has announced a cash Award of $5000 for any body who can throw some light on her second marriage. Who, where etc''. I concluded.

''What a lady! It's a pity I didn't know anything about her earlier''. There was a sense of loss in Kochappan's voice.

'' That's exactly what all her husbands have said about her''

'' What did they say?'' He was eager.

I quoted them. ''Oh! What a lady she is! Any time she spends outside of her bed is a total waste of time!''

I stood up, collected my umbrella, and looked at Kochappan. He was gazing at the sky through the open door of the balcony of his apartment on the 8th floor.

I didn't want to break his reverie; I moved out silently.......

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan; literally.

He was talking over phone to someone. I waited till he finished.

"Let's go up and sit in the balcony''. While climbing the stairs he left an instruction, '' Don't disturb us unless it is urgent''.

"You were in a mood of retrospection the other day. Got over it?'' he had a nurturing smile.

'' Yes. Those days in Bombay, struggle to get a job, the sight of the richest, the vulgar splendour of their money, and the likes of those kids I saw at the rly way station, all had made me feel dejected then. Yes I was in such a mood that day. ''

" Suburban railway is a part and parcel of the life of a Mumbaikar, is it not ?'' he asked.

'' Yes it is. Your mention about the trains brings to my memory two other instances which are hard to forget.''

'' Are they also those which touched you?'' he enquired.

''Yes, in away. Yes. In both instances it was to do with saving the life of two people; nothing heroic. Still,'' I said.

He was ready to listen. I went back to sometime in1976.

'' From Goregaon rly station there was a narrow pathway along the railway track which can take one to the main road. It was very narrow and dangerously close to the track. Lot of commuters used to walk through that path to reach the road easily. I used to be one among them.''

Kochappan's wife walked in with two cups of tea; left it on the table and left, quietly.

I continued, ''That day in the evening after alighting from the train, I was walking through that path, when I saw a man about 30-40 feet ahead of me dangerously close to the track, unaware
of a train approaching us from behind in the same direction. I made a sound; I don't know whether I yelled, shrieked, or howled at him to move out. May be it was act of sheer reflex, he jumped to the side. He had tryst with destiny. He made it in time. He was the winner. Lot of people who were in the scene, walking along abused him for his carelessness. I patted him on his shoulder and walked off.''

''Which is the other instance?'' Kochappan wanted to know.

'' Santacruz station on a Sunday night. Not very crowded. I was returing to Goregaon. The train
had started coming in to the platform. I heard voices shouting from behind me. I looked back and saw two people pointing to a girl clad in saree, standing in front of me at the edge of the platform. The train was coming in, but a bit away. She didn't move or make any effort to do so. Since she was closer to me I called out to her to warn her about the approaching train. She heard me, but stood motionless. I felt something fishy; her neglecting my call. Now the train was coming closer. I ran to her, caught her elbows from behind and pulled her backwards towards me. She was lean and I managed to pull her back.T he train stopped at the station as it does. I jumped into that train itself which I was to board. She was still standing in the platform. There was no expression on her face; she was blank.'' I stopped.

'' Touchy incidents. Aren't they?'' He commented; in the form of a question.

'' The second instance was also touchy but less emotional. I walked off to the main road at Goregaon. Probably after about 5 minutes somebody touched my shoulder from behind.It was that man from the pathway near the rly track. He extended something to me and said
'' Mere paas iske alava aap ko dene ke liye kuch nahi hai''. I looked at it. It was a Parry's toffee
(the ones available those days which had green coloured wrapper) which would have cost him 25 ps those days. What the third one gave me was blank look;a very blank look.''

Kochappan had a smile when he said this to me. ''All the three incidents were touchy literally and figuratively. The first two came and touched you and you went and touched the third one;
the girl.''

Only one conversation I can remember I have had with Kochappan without taking a lesson in English was the one I had with him the other day. I thought this day would be another. I was proven wrong.

'' Your saying he made it 'in time' to move out off the track is not the apt usage. It should be he made it 'on time' because he made it at the nick of the moment and not little early as 'in time' suggests.''

With a mischievous smile he asked me the last question on those incidents.

'' Tell me Aniyan, frankly. Literally was that girl in saree good figuratively?''

Let me tell the truth. Kochappan confuses me a lot; I am telling you the truth he does that literally every time !!!

menon ( aniyan )

The scars that remain.

''It was around 11.30 at night. There were very few people on the station platform. That is a very rare sight in any platform of a suburban rly station of Bombay. 'Bombay' because this was in 1975''.

I stopped and looked at him. kochappan was listening; that's the impression I got.

I continued speaking. It was not speaking. It was recollection of memories; on a damp evening in the balcony of his apartment. There was silence in the air; nothing depressing though.

''I was standing somewhere in the middle of the platform. The frequency of trains is low at that time. I felt a the touch of a hand almost at me knee. I looked down and saw a small boy; or was it a girl; long hair in tangles wearing a cloth which could be a shirt or a frock (I don't recollect what it was). It reached, let me say to his knees. The look in his face was not of hunger. It was a look of desperation. I fished in my pocket and a got a coin and extended it to him. My salary was Rs.200/, those days, less provident fund and ESIC; on hand around 140/. I was depressed and looking for a job with subsistance level salary. I took out another coin and offered. He, without accepting it, pointed towards the small tea stall in the platform. It was an expression of desparation out of hunger.''

I paused and took a sip of water.

Kochappan was now listening with rapt attention. I could see it in his face. There was silence.
I continued.

"I walked towards the stall. He followed me. I bought two pieces of 'paav', local term for small thing like 'bun'. I gave it to him. He, instead of eating it, walked with it to a spot near the foot overbridge nearby. I was watching him. Then I noticed another kid lying on a fragment of what could have been once a sheet. He bent and touched that kid. He, or may be she, moved a little. This boy helped the kid to sit up. He also sat near the one whom he woke up and gave that piece of food which I gave to him. He fed him piece by piece. The one who woke up ate with half closed eyes.''

I paused for few seconds and continued.

''Saab kya dekh rahe ho? Gaadi aa rahi hai. Javoge ya nahi?'' the booth owner who was watching me reminded me. Not many customers. He also didn't have anything to do!

''Nahi, mai agle gaadi se javoonga. Whose kids are they?'' I asked the stall owner without taking my eyes away from the kids.

'' God knows sir, they have been here for the last few days,'' he answered disinterested.

I bought two more pieces of 'paav' and two 'batata vada' and walked towards those kids. Both looked up at me. I gave the paav and vada to him, the one who came to me first. They continued eating and I walked away.

I was sitting on a bench waiting for the next train. I felt a touch and looked. It was that kid.
Suddenly he bent and touched my feet and looked at me. And then he walked away. His legs carrying that tiny frame moved away from me. I sat lost. I felt a lump in my throat. The train was moving in. I shuffled and started gettingup......

The rude sound of the calling bell interrupted us. Kochappan's wife called up and wanted him to go down to meet some guest who had come in. Kochapps looked at me. His eyes told me that he wanted to listen to me. The conversation had to stop for the day.

"Aniyan,'' he paused; then asked me, ''Is it something which really happened?''

'' Yes. It is'' I replied.

I said 'hello' to his guests and walked out.

From behind He called up, '' Will you come tomorrow? You must.'' He wanted to continue.
''I will, definitely. I will be here by 9 at night''

I felt relieved. It was like unloading a burden which I have been carrying for years. The burden of the look in the eyes of that kid; the burden of the sight of those slender legs carrying that frail frame carrying the 'paav' to feed his brother lying in ragged piece of cloth; that burden of seeing the half closed eyes of the kid trying to eat that small piece of bun.

I will come back tommorow. Sit with him and speak. You feel so great that you have people, like him and few more with whom you can unwind; share the agonies of the moments you have gone through, the moments which have touched you.

I started walking back home .... Wounds may heal, but the scars remain.



menon ( aniyan)

Worst spell of bowling , Sreesanth and Kochappan

I was at the wheel. We were nearing Alwaye. It would take another half an hour to reach the airport.

"The flight is on time. I want to be there when it lands,'' said Kochappan.

Hold on. You might be wondering what is Kochappan doing at Kochi. He flew in day before yesterday to receive Sreesanth returning after the Twenty20 match; hence the trip to airport.

'' Hurry, or else I will miss the boat'' quoth Kochapps in OE. I did not, as usual, understand the afore mentioned reference to 'missing the boat' when one is proceeding to the airport.

I sought clarification with reluctance. He gave me a look; something similar to what Dhoni gave to Sreesanth, who in a benevelent mood, gave twenty runs in his first over.

'' To miss the boat in figurative language means to miss the excitement'', he explained. Figurative language? but I didn't proceed further.

Soon as we reached the airport. Kochappan took off, like Carl Lewis, to the terminal. The airport was a sea of humanity. We stood and watched the frenzy of people. I could see Sree accompanied by three people coming out.

'' The one on the left is Mathew Varghese, ex-captain of Kerala Ranji team'', said Kochappan.

'' I know'' said I. '' I have seen this former captain's photograph in newspapers'' I added. Iam not good in Arithmetics", still I added vehementally.

'' He is not the former captain. He is the ex-captain,'' came kochapps.

'' That's what I also said'' I retorted.

'' There is a difference . Rahul Dravid was the captain of Indian team; so was Sourav Ganguly.
when you refer to Rahul you should mention him as ex-captain because he was the immediate past captain. But Saurav and Tendulkar are former captains because they preceded Rahul.
Abdul Kalam is the ex-president of India whereas Dr.Radhakrishnan and Zakir Hussain are former presidents of India, '' Kochappan stopped. I looked at him with reverance; the variety with which people were looking at Sreesanth.

Seeing an oppurtunity to get close to Sreesanth I hurried up to him. He recogonised me and we talked. He has not forgotten his old college mate. I was elated. I looked at Kochappan from the corner of my eye. Kochappan was standing with his jaws fallen; on seeing me talking to Sree.
I reminded to collect his fallen jaw and to restore it it's ex- postion and not the former position.
Last time he did it himself.

'' Why didn't you tell me that you knew him earlier,'' asked Kochappan in a hurt tone. his jaw may have been aching.

I kept silence. Very rarely do I keep it with me. This time I did.

'' What did you two speak ?'' he was curious. I felt bad that I did not tell him about my friendship with Sree. I apologised. He accepted.

'' We remembered our old days to gether and I also mentioned about his bad spell of bowling in the last over," I replied.

'' You shouldnot have done that today,'' Kochapps opined

'' He has always had this problem even when he was in school,'' I opened the history book.

'' Our English teacher was our Cricket coach also. Whenever he had asked Sree to spell 'Bowling' Sree used to spell it 'boulin'. The master then used to say that that is the worst spell of 'bowling' he has had from any body.'' I closed the history book.

Kochappan jerked , twisted and convulsed in his seat. Then there was silence. I could listen to it.
I dropped him at his home and these were his parting words.

'' Aniyan, you are a humble man but you have nothing in you to be otherwise''

I didnot quite get it. He was probably upset about my mention about the worst spell of bowling to Sreesanth!

I will ask him tommorow.

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan, achu mama,and cabbages

Dr.S.B.Misra, who gave up his career as a geologist in North America to return to India to fulfill his dream of building a 'village school' in Lucknow, was in for a surprise when he saw an e-mail in his inbox. It informed him of a rare honour of a 565 million year old 'Fossil' being named after him by the Govt of Canada. His discovery, the oldest record of multicellular life on earth, is now called 'Fractofusus Misrai'.

I do not know whether you can picturise the expression of surprise and excitement of a UP-born Misra at that time. Probably, if the regional prejudices cloud your vision, I can recommend
your imagining the south Indian face of Kochappan showing the same excitement in seeing a
fe-male instead of an e-mail in his office when he reaches there. E-mails rarely excite him; for you and me the difference in one alphabet would be another mistake in spelling, but for Kochapps, it's different; like the advertisement of Maggie hot and sour tomato ketchup; it's different.

May I remind you at this juncture that I have not met Kochapps for almost a month. We had a lot to discuss, from 123 Agreement to the reforms in administration of 'Achu mama', the CM of Kerala.

'' Achu mama is very innovative and is doing lot of good for the state in particular, and for the country in general. Achumama is a patriot. He contributes to India with all his might from Thiruvanantapuram.'' I observed without prejudice.

'' Can you give me one example ?'' asked Kochapps in a sarcastic tone.

'' I can site an example of his innovativeness'' I volunteered. Normally I don't volunteer but for Achu mama I did.

''The city streets are choking because of the increase in number of vehicles, resulting in traffic jam. Achu mama has come out with an innovative idea to overcome this problem, '' I said with pride and added a little dignity also to it ; like lime to Gin or Coke to rum.

''Tell me more'', sarcasm in tone had not left Kochapps fully.

'' No cars will be allowed to ply in the cities without filling it's full seating capacity and two wheelers should necessarily have a pillion rider also''. I gave the overall picture.

Kochappan's jaws fell .You may have seen a mango or coconut falling from their respective trees but you may not have seen ' jaws' falling. Kochappan's jaws fell. Picturise it please.

He collected his fallen jaw back (the lower one), reinstated it and asked '' Does it mean that I cannot go out in a car if only I and my wife are going out.? Does it mean that I have to collect another two people to fill up the seating capacity? I have heard of the idea of car sharing being encouraged but what is this all about?''

'' This rule gives rise to generation of additional employment these days '' I informed.

'' Additional employment opportunity ?'' He was at loss; his 'Balance Sheet' was affected very badly.

'' Assume a situation when only you and your wife are there to go by car for shopping, outing or for a quiet drive. You can ring up agencies (which will be set up) who will provide you people on hire to be your co-passengers.You can specify sex, age, height, weight, complexion etc to your taste and choose them. This generates lot of employment. This will be so for two wheeler owners also. Brilliant and innovative idea!'' I commented.

Kochappan slumped. These days he is unable to understand harsh realities of life. He needs help to move to his bedroom. He felt dizzy. Achu mama's innovative ideas have left him dazed.

I covered him with a sheet up to his chest and bid good bye for the day and then he spoke.

'' You told me about fossils. Your Achu mama and most of the politicians who govern us are fossils. Do you know where they should be?''. Before I could think of an answer he said it.

''They are useless on the top of the ground. They should be underneath; inspiring cabbages ''

I knew that the likes of Achumama can inspire lot of people but till Kochapps said it I didn't know that they can inspire even cabbages !!!

menon ( aniyan)

Mere Desh Ki Dharthi

The morning was grey. Clouds gathered in the distant sky. It was getting dark. The wind was damp. It was eerie.

'' Something ominous is going to happen'' murmured some. ''Something bad for the country'', said a few others. I didn't want to sit alone. I rang up kochapps and told him that I want solace. I do not know whether you have taken solace from friends; it’s good; esp the variety kochapps dishes out; it's very good, try it sometime.

When I reached Kochapps' apartment block half an hour later, I found a crowd of the residents of the flats near the 'Club House Hall'. I passed through gloomy faces into the hall to locate Kochapps. Some women were huddled together and were whispering. Some had eyes red, out of crying. I found Kochapps with difficulty. He was not affected much.
I asked him, '' what happened?''

''Don't you know what happened.?''

'' No'' .quoth I ; in Old English; the British variety.

'' Behold'' quoth he also, in OE, and extended the paper to me.

' Sanjay Dutt sentenced to six years imprisonment'' was the head line.

'' I knew this alright but what is happening here'' I enquired.

'' The Hindi film lovers including the north Indians from this building are meeting to protest and to pray for Sanjay. They are also requesting the Film Actors Assn
' AMMA" to declare 'Hartal' in Kerala.

After the meeting I read out the reports to Kochapps, like I did on the Churidar Issue of Guruvayoor.

'' Was there a rally after Sanjay was arrested.?'' I asked ; innocently.

'' What rally?'' he asked.

" This report says, “The film personalities rallied behind actor Sanjay Dutt after he was arrested on Tuesday”. I stopped for clarification.

He gave me a look I won't forget in my life.

I read the reactions of people from various walks of life to this incident.

'' Victim of conspiracy of circumstances'', said Shatrughnan Sinha, BJP MP.
"Iska badla hum zaroor loonga'', he pledged ; ever since he was sworn in as an
MP, he is in this habit of making 'pledges' ; ordinary statements are few and rare.

'' Upsetting'', director Kunal Kohli said, '' My sympathy is with his family .... It is a very sad day for Bharath desh. He has already paid for what he has done''. The patriot Kunal is, he recited two lines from manoj kumar's 'UPKAR'

'' Mere desh ki dharti sonaha ugle, ugle he heere mothi,
Mere desh ki dharti, Mere desh ki dharti, Mere desh ki dharti'', repeated it thrice to prove the point.

His voiced choked with emotion for Bharathdesh and Sanjay. He couldn't continue. He retired hurt. Like Manoj Kumar from patriotic films.

“Had he paid any fine earlier? '' I sought clarification again. Kochapps looked at me. To be very frank I couldn't decipher his expression. It was not an encouraging one anyway.

Film maker Anubhav Sinha hoped that '' there would be some provisions in the judgement to find some relief for our friend''. Mahesh Bhatt also mentioned about this 'relief in judgement.'

'' If the judgement doesn't have any relief to Sanjay, the Bollywood film Industry should definitely seek the help of the Drugs and Pharmaceutical Industry to provide some relief not only to him but to his family members in pain'' I expressed my opinion openly.

The last response came from the notable Bollywood film actress Monica Bedi who is convalescing after serving a term in jail for two separate charges of 'Physical alliance with mutiple people in a compromising manner in a discotheque in Delhi ' and ' Passport forgery case'. From her ancestral home from Chhabewal, in Hoshiarpur district. she said '' It's a big loss''.

She expressed her hope,'' Like Phoenix rose from ashes I have come back to life so will Sanjay'' .

I finished reading.

As if to Sanjay, I said it aloud ''You will come out like the phoenix from ashes, Sanjay, making it three of us achieving that feat; Monica from Hoshiarpur, you from Mumbai and I from Ravipuram.!!!”

I looked at Kochappan. He was fast asleep unmindful of the national calamities happening. I closed the door gently and waked on to the road.

It was still cloudy; threatening to rain.......

menon ( aniyan )

Hindustan Latex

That news came around 6.30pm on TV. We were in a restaurant at that time.
It came as surprise. It was breaking a tradition of so many years. It was about the decision of the Devaswom committee of Guruvayoor temple to allow women to enter temple wearing 'Churidar- kurta'.

'' What is so great about this news? why are people excited? Were women not allowed to wear anything while entering Guruvayoor, that Churidar news is being welcomed? were the questions I asked Kochappan who was having the third peg of Gin ; large one ; the 60ml variety. I was on lime, and cordial to him.

Wait till you see tomorrow's news papers. I assured him of excitement tomorrow.

At 10.30am next day. I read the newspapers loud to him in his room.

'' A novel decision'' was Chief Minister Achummavan's response.

'' Chief Minister is insulting this decision by calling novel , fiction etc it should be appreciated'' came the comment of opposition leader Ommen chandy. ''He doesn't have the guts to takea decision like this'' he added ; Chandy was good in arithmetics in school.

'' What is this issue about ' novel', ' fiction.? I asked kochapps.

'' It's a question of infuence of literacy and in Kerala politicians dont fight but engage in war of words.'' he replied

'' I want to have gin now before lunch'' he told me. I told him that I shall have lime with the same cordiality.

'' This decision to allow Churidar- kurta is to help the Ready made garment mafia of Mumbai and Tiruppur to increase their business in Kerala''. Alleged BJP state president krishna das. Krishna Das 'alleges' every day after bath and breakfast; it's just a habit.

The Chavakkad and Guruvayoor chapter of the ' Nudist's Association of Kerala'
has appealed to co-nudists from Goa to join their protest against the Devaswom board.
'' Considering Lord Krishna's focus and the specific interest in hiding the clothes of 'Gopikas' when they were taking their bath in the river and allied activities, allowing female devotees in Guruvayoor temple in their birth- day -suites would be the ideal way of worship '' claimed Ragunath Krishnan, the 70 yr old former president of the Nudist's chapter of Chavakkad and Guruvayoor. He exhorted the younger members to press for their demand for the implementation of birthday-suites concept in all Sree Krishna Temples in Kerala.

I looked at Kochapps. He was lost in thought ; then he said '' In an interview a press correspondent asked Dr.Kurien, founder of NDDB , as to what was wrong with Kerala. Do you know the reply he is reported to have given ?''

'' No, I don't''.

' The only thing wrong about kerala is that it is full of Malayalees''

Kochappan being educated and scholarly I requested him for his comment.

'' I have only one request to the politicians of this state'' he said.

'' What would that be?''

'' Please learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth controls and if you love your state as you say buy the 'Hindustan Latex' ones made in Kerala'' !!!

As it happens to me most of the times I was wondering why should they use birth controls for their parents' mistakes.


menon ( aniyan )

Global Warming

' You Live Only Twice' ; ' Once when you are born and then when you
' face death'.

I have not experienced it when I was born. But after I was born, seeing the kind of person Iam,and my life after my birth, there was a general opinion among the friends of my parent's that, the gene pool of the family should make use of little Chlorine so that the further outputs of their's , would be more clean, neat and acceptable to the society at large.

Madam du Barry, mistress of Louis xiv , facing death, just before being Guillotined, pleaded '' You are going to hurt me.Please don't hurt me. Just one more moment.I beg you, please.'' She was living that moment ,as she has never lived before.

That was one approach to facing death.

'' How about this for a head line for a tomorrow's newspaper.' French Fries' '' .said James French before being executed in electric chair in 1966.

That was another.

and the third one. ''I would like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me.And the rest of the world can kiss my ass'' .James Frank Garret Sr injected to death 1992.

Why-these- unpleasant things- now question would have crossed your mind.

Iam on my way to Kochappan to get response about my recent writing on fantasy of going to Ravipuram cremation ground which was preceeded by the ones on 'Cats', 'Godots', 'Dogs' etc.

Of the three options available and mentioned above, I chose the Madam du Barry approach to facing execution from Kochappan ; the ' plead for the mercy ' variety.

Keeping in line with the recent trend of recreating old incidents like 'Dandi March'
I decided to resort to the same style ; One has to be up- to- date , you know.
Like Madam Barry I started walking towards Kochapp's house 7 kms away.

I have bought the' thigh of a lamb' from Kaloor market, an area of the anatomy in which I dwell considerably when eating it. But I have never seen the face of a lamb in front of it's executioner. Probably it would have been something like Madam Barry's when she was in the same state as the lamb was.

Contrary to my expectations of being extinguished nothing bad happened ; I and Rahul Dravid were in the same boat ; better still, similar boat', because his was in Lord's and mine was in India ; geographical difference you see.

'' Aniyan you have improved quite bit in your writing .Now that your readers are satisfied and has had their hearts full you should take up spoken English and write less'' Kochapps nurtured.

I sat like the Pomeranian breed; enjoying it. Great moments of life;being nurtured ;not tortured as Madam du Barry.

Iam taking up spoken English seriously because I have decided to go more into Training and teaching in various institutes like the ones of Guru's management.

'' You can learn and improve a lot with a person like Raj of Guru'' Kochappan opined.

'' I have started using better and professional English in his organisation.I have learned and started using lot of phrases , idioms etc'' I said proudly.

'' That's good I know you can do it.Is Raj happy!''. Kochapps' expectation about me was growing.

'' Oh yes. I was also there with him when he was entertaining two of his clients from a management consultancy from Britain at Windsor Manor at lunch''. I paused.

'' You would have contributed to the conversation '' he was in conjecture.

'' Oh yes I did. Using new found phrases I engaged the British couple.To please the lady and complement her I said ' If I had told you that you have a gorgeous body will you hold it against me?' .

Kochappan froze. '' Did the man hear it'' .

'' No he was in conversation with Raj''. I said. '' I proved to the Brit that I had knowledge about Britain by giving a quote about England''

'' What did you say''

'' I told him '' I know why the sun never sets on British Empire.Because even God will not trust an Englishman in darkness''

'' Oh God. How did he react'' Kochapps moaned.

'' He had a similar expression like yours '' I said ; innocentally

" How did Raj react?''

'' He got me ticket by 'Go Air' to Kochi from the hotel travel desk itself on credit card, and drove me to the airport. Even in that cold climate he was sweating. May be he was feeling bad about my leaving Bangalore''. I finished giving feed back.

Kochappan tried to stand up. He swayed. This is the second time I have seen him going weak on his knees after a conversation with me. I helped him to the bed room. He was sweating like Raj did after lunch. '' Why are all of you sweating?'' I asked him.

'' Global warming, Aniyan , Global warming'' he muttered !!!!

Carbon Dioxide and Nitrous Oxide are cited as causes for Global warming.

I did not quite understand what did I have to do with Global warming !!!

I will have to ask him.

menon ( aniyan )

The bread knife

I wrote prose.Nothing much happened. I wrote poetry, and after reading it Kochappan retired hurt .He has not recovered yet; is in Malaysia now for recovery and recuperation. I feel guilty of my poetry putting him out of action . M.D. paliath consoled me thro mail and even offered to come down to Kochi to share my grief over one or two pegs of Rum ; he was willing to increase the quantity of intake either in 'millilitres' or in 'pegs'.leaving the choice to me. He said my poetry is good ; that comment from a person erudite as him, who came out in 'colours' in his first attempt and in ' Flying colours ' at the second, in the Civil Services Exams, and is generally found in the office The Director of Aeronautical Agency, advising him on various matters, was by all means an encouraging one.

What to write next? I was in a dilemma. I asked komala as to what should I write next.

' Few cheques dedicated to me'' was her reply.

I asked Aparna, my first output. "What do you think I should write next''.

'' It's your will" . I didn't quite get what she meant by ' will '.

And if it is the ' will ' through which she inherits then all she is likely to get is ' love and fresh air' ; considering the scarcity of these two it would be of great value.But then theses days people ' know the price of every thing but the value of nothing'.

''Why don't you write about us, our love for each other, especially our love and concern

for you'' suggested my second output Meera.

I weighed the suggestions. I was still weighing when Meera added '' I have got a poem which will show my concern for you''.

I was curious. I asked her to read it to me which she did ; with the mother, and the other output listening.

'' Please mother don't stab father with a bread knife

Remember it was a gift when you were wed

But if you still want to stab father with a bread knife

Please, mother, use another one for the bread ''

I was moved by the concern of my daughter and her plea to her mother.

I could hear them laughing when I was moving away from the room.

I pictured in my mind; what a happy family picture at breakfast table it would be ; the children, the father, the mother , the bread, and the bread knife which we got as wedding gift.

menon ( aniyan )

Poetry on poverty.

" Is this the poem ?''. He asked me.

'' Yes. This is the one about which I talked to you'' .I replied.

I do not know whether you have seen a person who is ' weighing his options'. They generally tend to have this serious look for few minutes, and in the minutes to follow, it takes a turn to the lost one. This may last for few seconds or minutes and they get their bearings and return to the original state.

Kochappan went through the afore mentioned stages and returned.He started talking to me.

I would break my narrative here and tell you about this poem.

Readers might remember my attempt at writing the heart rending story of
' The Cat' and the criticism it received. Moving away from the realm of writing in prose about feelings of cats and dogs, I decided to enrich and entertain my readers by writing poetry. The product of my first attempt, is with Kochappan for his opinion.

Back to Kochapps after the break.

'' Writing six or seven sentences, one below the other with a comma at the end of each line does not make it a poem''. he said.
'' Poetry is the powerful flow of emotions recollected in tranquilty''.He pointed his finger on my writing and asked me
'' What do you think this is? You read it yourself and tell me''.

This is the poem I had penned.

'' Ravipuram was the destination,
of Komalam's nnmenon,

Having no money for petrol was his problem,
A matter in which no help came, even from Komalam

' Take a free ride with someone' came the signal from his brain,
and thus went Komalam's menon
In the pillion of his neighbour Simon
To Ravipuram his destination''.

'' Well. What is the 'Theme'? What did you want to convey?. Kochapps waited for my assessment of my own creation.

I couldn't take this belittling my creative output.Yet I answered politely.

'' In this poem I have tried to convey symbolically the helplessness of such men who are poor, and suffering from not having money even to fill petrol in their car, and is forced to seek a free ride from a neighbour.I have been cautious in not describing the mental agony of the man, as against what I had done in describing the feelings of the cat, which you felt would sadden the reader and spoil his day.
Regarding the composition, I have maintained the 2-2-4 combination ( similar to that of a football team formation in a match) in the stanzas with End Rhyming''
I conveyed the matter fairly clearly.

The expression of the hero of '' Psycho'' a movie by Hitchkock, on seeing the ghost at the head of the stair case when he was climbing to the first floor, is considered the best even now, of expressions in that category.

Kochappan's expression on hearing my description ! You can't imagine.
I never thought that my poem would touch him to this extent. He struggled to stand up.Slowly and gingerly he started off towards his bedroom.He said he wanted to retire early.

While walking, in a desparate tone, I heared him muttering

'' Some people are ' wise ' some are 'otherwise' ''.

As it happens sometimes to me , I couldnot quite catch why he said that!

I will ask him tomorrow .........


menon ( aniyan )

I went to Godot

The gate creaked a little.The hinges had rust on it. We all tend gather rust as we age. The gates creak ; we croak. That's the essential difference between men and gates. Well, let's leave gates behind and proceed.Which I did ; towards his portico. The sole intention ?. To get his feed back on my recent writing on 'The Cat' .

His smile, on seeing me, was like ' sunshine on a rainy day ' ; literally and figuratively. After sitting, exchanging pleasantries etc in that order, I asked him about his comments on my writing.

After a pregnant silence he delivered. '' I will quote what Dr.Johnson said in a similar situation. Your manuscript is both original and good. That part which is original is not good and that part which is good is not original.''

'' What do you think would be your reader's reaction?.'' He asked me. '' Be frank'' he added.

" I thought they would have been literally glued to the seat while reading it. I am being frank'' I said with conviction.

The teacher in him woke up, yawned and said '' My dear aniyan, if the brand of the glue were to be Fevicol , manufactured by Pidilite Industries, they may not have been able to stand up from their seat after reading your writing. You should have used the word 'figuratively' instead of ' literally'. Develop precision in use of language''.

'' You think Kulkarni lnt ebg, Guru, or Sekhar will be, on opening their mail,at 7pm, after a tiring day,be interested in reading about a cat( which they have never seen or heard) getting pregnanat and delivering in your wife's cupboard.''

He continued '' Do you know the damage it does to your reputation? By your admitting that your wife is eyeing you with suspicion about the cat's pregnancy''.

He was really concerned about my welfare.'' These people are going to keep their pet animals , like cats ,dogs etc locked in some room, when you visit them, for the fear of these becoming pregnant during your stay there?.''

'' Even George Bush had thought of the after effects of Iraq ; but you didn' t in your case. Iam surprised !'' He stopped.

I donot know wheher you would have seen Mulayam singh Yadav's face when Myavati defeated him in UP. I would have almost looked the same ; defeated look.

I will tell you what I felt like when I was returning home; I felt useless ;
As useless as a pulled tooth !!!

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan's Awards

'' The year- 1965. The month - November. The venue - Schller Theater, Berlin.
Stood Seaphen Wigger and Horst Bollman doing the roles of Vladimir and Estrogen, in the famous Samuel Beckett's highly acclaimed drama
' Waiting for Godot ' ; A Godot who never comes. The drama is about the fundamental human question of the 'reason and purpose of human existance'.

The year- 2007. The month - June. The venue - The living room of of a small house at Kochi. Sits, and occasionally stands Menon , in front of his computer,
' Waiting for Kochappan ' ; his comments on his attempt at writing; on 'Cats'.
which incidentally, for the time being, is the ' reason and purpose' of his living.But it never came. ''

That is what I would have written had you asked me about my condition now.
Waiting for the Godot who never comes.

On not getting any response from his telephone I rang up Guru, another friend of our's. Guru was his colleague and would know about his whereabouts; hence my call to him.He told me that Kochapps is a member of a committee which decides on promotions and awards for the employees of his organisation, and is busy with the selection process.
''Though he is not an HR man his inclusion in the committee is because he is brilliant and innovative.'' said Guru.

'' Innovative ?''. I asked. I was wondering the role of innovation in award decisions.

'' Yes''.affirmed Guru.

'' Examples , please '' I demanded.

'' Examples?. Take it .'' For the first time he has announced an award for
' Selective Hearing Impairment award' .'' Guru served the example with the same pride as Mallikarjun of Bharath Tourist Home would serve his Masala Dosa .

'' Elucidate '' I went into the British English mode.

'' This award is for ' An employee who excels in at the skill of hearing only what he wants to hear and does that job alone'. Guru gave me the look Mallikarjun used to give me after serving the M dosa.

'' Genius, this Kochappan ! '' I admitted.'' Any more of his genius stuff ? Can you serve one more of those? '' . I asked .

'' Best Dancer of the year award'' said Guru. After taking fairly large measure of air from the atmosphere he continued.

'' This is for 'An employee who has excelled in the art of dancing their way around issues''.

I put the phone down. I bent my head in reverence to Kochappan ; probably for the third time in the last few months.

It has started to rain. I opened the windows wide to let the cold air in. Its the begining of monsoon. I covered myself with a sheet,lay sideways and looked out through the window. Kochappan was never a brilliant student in school or for that matter even in college. Aren't you being jealous ?. I asked myself .

No. he himself had told me this " I had failed in 10th standard once because of Pneumonia. Not because I had it but because I could not spell it''.

See where he is now. Internal Audit, Awards committee etc.

The rain is coming down heavily now. I could hear the croaks ; the frogs were welcoming the rains. I shall try Kochapps tomorrow. Will it be another wait for Godot;the man who never came?

Let's see ........


menon ( aniyan )

The Cat

' I have been seeing this cat ; a young and good looking one walking around my house. I had felt that it is not so safe for a young one to walk around the way this one did. why should I be bothered?. I left it at that.

That was not to be so.

I started noticing this Tom boy loitering around the same area. I could see glances being exchanged and a relationship building up. Why should I be bothered?. I left it at that again.

That was not to be so.

The next time I saw the cat she was pregnant. I was a bit worried.

Why should you be?. You might ask.

Five months back another cat, which went through the same love affair, gave birth to three; unfortunately in my wife's cupboard. Short of blaming me for the cat's pregnancy , my wife blamed me for every thing that cat did in my house.

And now another delivery looming large in the horizon ? . I was anxious.

Days seemed longer and nights sleepless. Finally one morning I heard the 'Meoow' sound from the sun shade. I climbed up and saw the mother and three outputs of her ' Love's Labour ' together ; happy and relaxed ; as relaxed 'as poached eggs on toast'.

Till this point things were smooth ; like the first half of a Hindi movie; boy,girl, love, marriage,pregnancy,delivery etc.

Then the plot thickened ; not as thick as Achutanandan - Pinarayi ,
the Jesudas - Guruvayoor temple entry ones, or even as the Govt owned plots in Munnar. But thick enough.

Yesterday morning my wife interrupted my sleep, like rain did during the Test match at Dhaka. The reason? the cat again.

The cat had moved its family of three from the sunshade, the ' Labour Room', to the ' Pay Ward ' ; my wife's cupboard again.
Operation evacuation started.I shifted the Kitten from the Pay Ward to a completely sheltered portion outside;near the porch. The cat sensing our un willingness to accomodate them carried them to another shelter.''

The door bell rang. I stopped writing.

'' Writing ? Writing what ?. You might ask.

I wanted to improve my writing skills and had asked Kochappan to help.After the World cup I rang him up one week back, and for a beginning he told me to make a short write up on an actual incident in real life in recent times which touched me the most. Hence this one on the cat.

What is touching about it ? you might ask. I continued writing. I have to mail this to him today.

'' Today at about 6 in the morning I heard the cry of a cat outside my bedroom at the backyard.It was not a cry; it was a lament, a wail ; a plaintive mourn of grief.
The sort which un settles you. I, tiptoed to the back yard without waking up my wife. It was the same cat. It stood closer to a thin metal sheet over a pile of coconut shells. I gently lifted the sheet. Staring at me were the brown eyes of a dark Tomcat.It looked at me for few seconds and ranaway. When we were young we have heard of the stories of tomcats tendency to kill and eat the offsprings.
I looked at the kitten.They were not eaten.

They were still. I looked at them closely.There were bite marks around it's neck.
There were dried drops of blood. I saw them cuddling and nestling in the cupboard few hours back. I stood still.

I looked at the queen cat. It was still making that inarticulate moaning sound.
It looked at me straight. I felt guilty. I walked back, turned and looked at that cat .

It was there . For me it was not just a cat standing there wailing in grief.

It was a mother. I saw in it's eyes the look of a mother ; the agony, the anguish, and hatred of a mother.''

menon (aniyan)

Summer rain

It's 11.30 pm.I looked out through the window. I could see the trees at a distance; bathed in street light.The air was still; It's hot; its summer.

I could hear the wail of an ambulance passing through the main street. It slowly died down as it sped away.' No. Iam not afraid of death.Only thing is I don't want to be there when it's happening' said Woody allen. Was Allen speeding away from it in the ambulance when it was happening or was he going for that to happen ?.

The 'Midsummer night's dream' of Indian cricket fans turned into 'Midsummer night's nightmare'.

I looked out through the window ; hoping to see the flashes of lightening, to hear the distant rumble of thunder.

Last time I sat with him it rained heavily; we were sitting in the portico of his house; it was the day of Ireland's match.

I saw the first flash of lightening. Cold breeze blew in . And then came the rain drops. I could hear them falling on the metal sheet. Like the fingers of Allarakha on the Tabla or

Palakkad Mony on the Mridangam. It followed a rhythm, a pattern.

Gradually it began to fall heavily. I looked out through the window. I could see the trees bathed in street light ; they glistened. Water started dripping from the leaves. Cool air blew in.

The last time I was with him was one month ago.It rained on that day too.

'A fanatic is one who won't change his mind and won't change his subject' said Winston Churchil.

I should contact him tomorrow. It has been quite some time !

menon (aniyan)

Kochapps' condoms

Though I was convinced that Kochapps was testing my patience , I didnot return his call.

I learn a lot from him and I have followed his teachings by putting it to use whenever I can.

But the results have not been encouraging all times.

'' Examples?''

''Well here is one; as recent as on 31/03''.

I used to grumble about the high rate of House tax I pay every year.Kochapps used to tell me not to grumble and to pay taxes with smile. I told my younger brother, with an instruction, to pay the house tax with smile ; but he returned saying that they insisted on paying it in cash !

Since Kochapps has high opinion of the LDF he used to tell me that under their rule the red tapism of bureaucracy will be less.My experience with a sales tax officer was different.

I told him about it. Then he tells me that bureaucrats has begun to cut the red tape;lengthwise.

But in theorey what he had told was correct;in practise it's different.Reflecting on few other things he had told I felt that they are true in theorey and practise.

'' Politicians like Pinarai Vijayan will lay down your life for the good of his country.''

Another one which literally and figuratively true, and I remember with reverence is a slogan he wrote about condoms. This had to be very subtle but convey the meaning ,for 'Sex Education' to be introduced in schools in Kerala.

Describing the role of a condom in Family Planning he wrote:

A condom: - Stands up to inflation

- Halts production

- Destroys next generation

- Protects a bunch of pricks

- Gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

Product of sheer genius; I forgot the cabbage and other insults. I rushed to his place.

He opened the door. He tapped me on my back and smiled.

The match between Newzeland and Ireland is about to start. Out side it started to drizzle.

Gentle cold breeze brought the April temperature down.

His wife brought coffee and while leaving the room asked me casually.' Aniyan. why did you leave early yesterday? Is there any thing on between you and him?'' Without waiting for an answer she left the room.

I was reminded of an answer Marilyn Munroe gave to a correspondent.

'' No it's not true that I didnot have any thing on in the photo session.I had the radio on ''

Between Kochapps and me there was nothing on; except the TV.

It started raining heavily out side.

The first ball of the Ireland innings was being bowled ......

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan's phone call

Kochapps and I see the telecast of cricket matches most of the nights. Occasions for meaningful conversations have been few. Today the match was delayed and conversation ultimately came to humour in British English.I enjoy houmour and jokes; even if it'sabout me; but not today.

I was angry and I left his house.

''Why,What happened?''. you might ask.

I will tell you. '' He could have told me what he wanted to tell me straight. Instead of conveying it in the form of quotation of jokes; not in all but through some .

King George 1 of England was travelling by a coach in the continent and stopped at a country inn where he was charged a prepostrous sum for a simple meal with three eggs.

''Are eggs so scarce in this part of the country?'' he asked with sarcasm.

'' No your Majesty'', replied the innkeeper '' But Kings are.''

''Aniyan, here is one which I have wanted to tell you many times''.said Kochapps.

'' Why don't you tell me now. what is it ?'' I was curious.

' A notorious bore to Oscar Wilde:

'' I passed by your house yesterday''

'' Thank you so much'' said Wilde

Bernard Shaw wanted to put down a society snob and so asked her whether she would go to bed with a man for 500 dollars.The lady smiled and said with contempt ' well it would depend on how good looking he is'.

' 'Would you do that for 10 dollars?'' enquired Shaw.

'' What do you take me for?'' the lady turned serious and burst out.

'' We have already settled that question'' Shaw said drily.'' All we are discussing now is the price''.

'' Aniyan this is something which I have thought of telling you on many occasions'' said Kochapps.

'' What is it''. I was eager to hear a word of appreciation or praise from him.

' Oscar wilde was standing in the foyer of a theater on the first night of one of his plays, receiving flowers and bouquets, when one who wanted to humiliate him gave a rotten cabbage.

'' Thank you my dear fellow'' said Wilde, '' Every time I smell it I shall be reminded of you''.

'' Nobody has ever told me that I smell like a vegetable nor should he thank me for passing by his house'' Iam deeply hurt.

''You know him he would have said that to irritate you, he will phone you up to pacify you'' You might say.

I may not be Wilde or Shaw but my English also is not bad. I left a message in my answering machine to show that Komala is also upset.

'' My wife and I cannot come to the phone right now , but you leave your number so that

We might get back to you as soon as we are finished''

As Soon as we finished , I and my wife looked for his call and it was there in the answering machine !!!

menon (aniyan)

Kochappan's Man of the Match

Because of the the examination of his son and his internal audits towards the year end, I had restrained myself from contacting him.But today I decided to go to his place before the cricket match telecast starts;between Englad and Ireland.

''Haven't heard much about Ireland'' I thought aloud.

'' But they have have made the exit of Pakistan and woolmer easy'' said kochappan.

'' Tragic; the exit of both'' my comment was short.

Who would you blame for India's exit?'' Kochapps asked.

'' I don't know. May be Greg or Tendulkar'' I remarked casually.

' Indira Gandhi'' Kochappan said .

''Indira Gandhi?'' I couldn't make out the connection.

'' Yes! She had a big role in the formation of Bangladesh'' !!! ''This is not my opinion; its the joke going'' he added.

'' We don't know much about Ireland but they know about us.'' Kochappan continued.

'' When I spoke to crowd of three hundred people they were shaking their head from side to side which in Ireland will equate to a very loud verbal No. But I understand that here in India

it is the other way ; showing agreement or approval''. Kochappan paused.

''who said that'' I asked.

''Eugiene Houston. He, on behalf of five companies,on a recruitment drive,gave a talk on cultural aspectsof Ireland to job aspirants and applicants who had assembled in the conference hall of a hotel at Bangalore.''

''India has become a knowledge source.Has it not?'' I was proud .

'' Yes but in cricket we are an exaggerated side. The national pride overtakes objective analysis.'' Kochapps commented.

We carried on conversation on cricket and it obviously came to Gavaskar's comment on Australian sledging and the reactions. Kochappan agreed with Gavaskar's comments fully.

'' They do it beyond levels of decency . Once when Botham came to the crease Marsh welcomed him with these friendly query '' So how is your wife and my kids?''.

'' But have they not got it back in the same coin any time?'' I asked.

Kochapps gave me two instances of that happening. When I was driving back home I remembered the instances and the words.

'' Why are you so fat'' Macgrath taunted Eddy Brandes of Zimbabwe who was knocking the ball around.

'' Because everytime I made love to your wife, she gave me biscuits'' was Eddy's reply.

''What does Brian's di*k taste like'' was Macgrath's question to Sarwan.

'' I don't know ask your wife'' was Sarwan's reply.

Gavaskar would have awarded the 'Man of the Match' to Sarwan for that !!

menon (aniyan)

Kochapps and the Exchange Offer

By the time I reached his house I was sweating ; it was very sultry, but not as sultry as the heroine I had in mind for Liz's role,in my proposed movie.I couldn't discuss any thing with him as he had a guest, an ardent worker and member of the CPI(M), from Kannur.I joined their conversation; over a cup of hot tea.

Kochapps son is appearing for his final exams and the topic of conversation turned to education.

Kochapps mentioned in general about the burden of studies and exams on children these days.

'' But in Kerala things are different. We the LDF ministry has Out -Of -Box thinking. They have, to raise funds for sports education, started 'Sports Lottery'. This year they have done something similar in SSA exams. It induces bit of adventure, luck and less burden for students.'' The man from Kannur said

'' That is interesting'' Kochappan showed his interest. '' Kerala always comes up with

un imaginable things.Tell me more about it'' he pleaded.

'' Some bundles of question papers , which were sent from the press at Trivandrum to various exam centres, were loosely tied and sent through open trucks so that question papers which fly off the lorry could be picked by the lucky ones, and write the exam without preparation. Some students from Kayamkulam, Kottayam, and Thalassery got this lottery of question papers from the road and did well in the exams. We termed it 'Out- Of -Box' thinking because papers came out of the box from the lorry.''

I don't think any one of us would have been lucky enough to see Mr.Einstein or Mr. Darwin sitting back after having accomplished their respective inventions.That man from Kannur demonstrated that after his soliloquy.

After telling us about few more achievements of LDF ministry he left both of us; alone together.

Pregnant silence hung in the air for few seconds ; it fell and broke later on. On his leaving

Kochapps commented thus '' I like long walks especially when it is taken by people like him''.

'' I will walk with you upto the busstop'' he offered. We walked past the shops which were closing for the day. Traffic was thin. I wanted to talk about my film to him but refrained

from doing so. Because, for all you know , when Iam gone he might say ' some people spread happiness whereever they go, and some whenever they go'.

Near the stadium where I get down to go home 'Fab Mall' has a hoarding , like the Amul or Air India ones, announcing new schemes and bargains. The one painted today read

' We exchange everything , Ovens, Wasing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along

and get a wonderful bargain. '

I should tell Kochapps to come with his wife, along with me and Komala to see what they offer in exchange !!

That offer goes anyone of you too !

Menon (aniyan)