I rang up kochappan.this time it was about the writing skills of Meera.

''From some samples i have seen her written communication is very good.But, Dai, you will not believe this, she has started writing poems''

Let me break here for a second and tell you something.This mode of address 'dai', though used in Kerala extensively, is more prevalent in Trivandrum and surrounding areas.

Like 'kumkumapoov' in Asianet resumes every Monday after a break
I resumed my conversation with him ; after the above mentioned break.

'' I had a a difference of opinion with Mrs. Komala Menon,who, by sheer coincidence happens to be the mother of Aparna and Meera,in that order.
I was very vocal in that conversation with Komala, that my neighbour Mr.Simon pointed out later,that my voice has scratches and should do something to improve my performance. He also made a query regarding the raaga in which i was conversing with Komala on this occasion.He liked it''

I paused, had a dash of water and contd again; like the serial 'Kumkumapoov' on Mondays.
 
''Half an hour later Meera handed over her impressions on the incident in a paper in the form of a short poem.''

I read it out to him

'' Please mother don't stab father with a bread knife
Remember it was a gift when you were wed
But if you still want to stab father with a bread knife
Please, mother, use another one for the bread ''

''What touched me,Kochappan, is her equal concern for me the father,Komala the mother, and even the Bread knife which we got as a wedding gift''

I was overcome with emotions.I had tears in my eyes.
I felt a lump in my throat;the sort of which those novelists mention.

I disconnected.It's not good to talk with lumps in the throat... I will call him tomorrow....

Kochappan,Last hour and I

My classes for the BCA 3 sem is the last session on Wednesdays;from 4 PM to 4.50.Students are generally tired and will be looking for journey back home by college bus.

I rang up kochappan and explained about the situation and asked him to give some suggestions or options to solve ,may I say, this issue.

'' What solution can i suggest ? What option do you have?. I cannot think of any '' quoth kochappan.

suddenly I was struck by an idea and conveyed it to him'' One Sardarji who was travelling by the last compartment of a train from Mumbai to Delhi had lot of difficulty , because he could not buy any food or even tea because all the stalls are in the middle of the platform in all stations.
He wrote a letter to the GM of Western Railway.
''I have explained all the difficulties I had to face as a passenger of the last compartment and i give you two suggestions.
Sir, please don't attach the last compartment at all and if at you still insist and want to attach the last compartment attach it somewhere in the middle''.

Kochappan was silent for few seconds and asked me " What has this got to do with your issue?''

'' I can suggest to the students to speak to our Director and request him not to have the last hour at all, and, if at all he wants to have the last hour
he can have it sometime in the morning itself.''

I heard a 'thud followed by a crash.

If my memory serves me correct this would be the fourth time Kochappan has fallen for my creativity , my brains.

ഞാൻ അരാ മോൻ.

DESTINY, KOCHAPPAN, AND I

It may have been around 2 in the morning.They carried me to the car to be taken to the hospital.I was semi conscious.My weight,per se,was not a problem.What weighed them  down was the condition of some part of my anatomy ; heart,liver,kidney...;in my case my liver had grown little too big for its size.

Kochappan had come to Kochi and had advised me that I should not let things in me grow disproportionate to its design.

I used to look at the out side world,like any one of you,  through a window ,but here in the hospital I had
a look at another world through a 'ventilator' ; it was fascinating.

Immigration was denied and I returned home after one month.There was agony for a lot ; not ecstasy but a sigh of relief later on.

Nine years later,last week I went to the same hospital ;this time there were differences.
I rang up Kochappan and told him that I have taken quotation from three hospitals for an operation I had to go through, and have decided on the one where I was carried to nine years back.

I and Komala,packed a small bag stuffed with some clothes and walked to the auto stand and took one to the hospital. That was a re-enactment of our return to Kochi after a stay at her house after our marriage. we had caught an auto to kottayam bustand that day.

Sat in the room after reaching the hospital at 7PM.Climbed up to the fourth floor canteen had chapathi & Kuruma.
We sat in silence for some time.Looked out through the window from where we could see the main road and the three star hotel across the road.

That hotel was there, even then, nine years back ;but I could not see it because of  the ventilator.

The Barber came and shaved me clean, my chest. He insisted that I have a clean shaven face too. He dabbed Old Spice on my cheeks.

I smelled fresh for the surgeons who did the surgery.I returned home the next day.Walked up to the car.This time nobody got weighed down ; except my bank account ,which lost considerable weight.

It was history repeating itself, probably a re-run. I travelled to Powai to L&T and waited in the park to get an appointment letter.Years later when I should have retired , I travelled to Amrita Coimbatore and sat on a bench to get another appointment letter.

This time it repeated in my trips to hospitals.The first trips in both cases were anxiety ridden ;both to L&T, and the hospital whether I will make it ; the second one, relaxed.

 'Turn of destiny or fate' said Kochappan.'' Not only yours, but ours too.Its our destiny and fate too that you are back,alive and kicking''.

Was he being sarcastic, my being back and his fate etc... I want to clarify that ... I will not leave him..


      

L&T, AMRITA, and I.

On the 2nd of August, a month in which I completed 59yrs and 8 months, I drove to Ettimadai, 35 kms from Palakkad towards Coimbatore, from where I could see ACC cement factory of Coimbatore closer, than the Walayar cement factory of Palakkad . It was to receive an appointment order from the Director, Corporate and International Relations (CIR), of Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham University to enable me to be a faculty in Soft skills for their campus at Edappally, Kochi.

That journey had some peculiarities. I drove and traveled alone. Surprisingly I liked sitting beside me for that entire journey; to and fro. That was the same way I traveled from Goregaon to Andheri, 33 yrs back, alone but by a suburban train ; to meet with the Personnel officer of Larsen&Toubro Limited in the hope of making it there. That train carried not only me, but it carried the hopes and fears of my parents and few friends; whether I would make it ; as an employee. The car that carried me now also carried the anxiety and the optimism of my wife, daughters and few friends that I would make it there ;first of all whether I would make it there by driving safely, and secondly whether I would get it..
I waited for about an hour to get the letter.
I sat on the concrete bench of a small park opposite L&T's works at Powaii then; wondering whether I would fit into that job well.
This time I sat in the plastic chair of Amrita's canteen and waited. The level and reasons for the anxiety differed; but it was there. One thing was for sure. My sitting there was part of divine destiny.I have had the holy water from the hands of the Poojari's of temples when I was young.
I have also had the 'Restorer of spirits' from the bartenders of pubs and permit rooms ; probably more than what was required. Now that I am waiting to be a faculty in a known Institute. I can quote W Churchill that ''I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me''.

Can there be flood without water?.
It was a forward from Kochappan that paved the way for my trips to Ettimadai, and the trips I would be making to their Edappally campus.
If I would stand and deliver what I am supposed to deliver, it would because of the opportunities, Larsen & Toubro and Guru Rajasekharan had given me.

Victor Borge a famous pianist, after a show on stage said '' I thank my parents for making this show possible, and my wife and children who made it a necessity''

In a thanks giving speech I would alter Victor's words a little and say

'While accepting this job, I should thank kochappan, L&T, and Rajasekharan for making it possible,and the personal loan divisions of Syndicate bank And State bank of India which made it a necessity'

NewYork, Edappally, and Kochappan.

The phone bell rang. It is kept there to ring. Nothing to write home about it.But this time it was slightly different.It was Kochappan at the other end , and obviously me, at this end.

Let me give you a break here, like Ranjini Haridas does in 'Idea Star Singer' on Asianet, and give you, in musical term, some BGM of Kochappan.

The aforementioned kochappan had gone to the US to be in the UN head quarter in their internal audit in New York. I was informed by his sister that he is returning after a term of one year; in his original shape and form without any injuries or damages ; considering his talents this is creditable: Because in his case lot of people leave impressions on him; indelible ones at that !
Give the devil his due.
Back after the break. We spoke thus.

I from this end " I am so happy you are coming back. It will be like old times. I am going haywire. its great.''
He from that end '' Aah! dude . Great'' . The American influence was evident.
He continued from the same end '' Don't use 0ld cliches like ' going Haywire'. Aniyan, you should know what you are saying'' he turned British and continued. ''Hay wire is a thin strip of wire used by farmers to bind together rolled bundles of hay. That wire, when cut to loosen the bundle, will spring open, and if not careful will injure a person. You don't intend to injure anybody if you are happy, Do you?. Know the origin of the sayings before you use them''.
I have taken lot of lessons from him willingly, but this is not the way he speaks to me after a gap of one year. I may not have gone to America , but my English is not all that bad. I kept aside my feelings and continued; like Tendulkar in One dayers and IPL. Firm but polite.

'' How was it in UN. How useful will be your stay in US, and work in UN, for India.''

'' I am in possession of lot of data about people of different countries and races like the Negros,Europeans, Africans etc which would of use. For example, I have some vital statistics about women from these regions which would of value for Indian women especially considering the women empowerment process in India'' He said it with pride; tremendous pride.

'' Of what use is statistics'' I asked; there was the echo of innocence in my voice.
He came up with a reply which hurt my innocence and pride ; how hurt would have been Shoaib Malik's feelings when Ayesha told him that he cannot marry Sania, and Sania's boy friend's feeling when she told him that she cannot marry him.
It may take a little time for you unravel the whole comparison , but then you should; for my sake.

Now, this is what he told me in reply '' Aniyan, you, who have not studied, leave alone statistics, even Arithmetic will use statistics like drunkard uses a lamp post. For support, not for illumination.'' I let this also go like Tendulkar did with Sreesanth's bouncer.

''How is Kerala going'' he entered the local waters.

'' Great. Lot of developmental activities. There is one smart city coming up. They have laid the foundation stone twice to show the intent.''
''Twice.That's nice.But why twice?'' his query.
'' Once three years back when they entered into an agreement.Having forgotten the land mark of the first stone laid, they laid a second one when they agreed a second time to go ahead with the project '' my reply.

'' The other major projects are related to infrastructure. There has been many number of accidents involving heavy vehicles and cars going off the bridges and plunging into the rivers killing many. Considering the number of rivers in Kerala and the spate of accidents the government has come up with an innovative project which the Govt claims can be emulated by the states also.'' I took a short break like Ranjini Haridas. When it comes to taking breaks with, nobody like Ranjini Haridas.
" Interesting. Tell me more'' Kochapps goaded me. I do not like being goaded, but anything for close friends.

'' They will demolish all the bridges across the waterways throughout the state , and introduce the Ferry System of carrying vehicles across river like in olden times, so that, even if by chance a vehicle falls into the river the casualty will be less , because the height of the plunge will be less. Considering the number of bridges being replaced with ferries, this also gives rise to additional employment and livelihood.''

I continued like Tendulkar approaching his 200 in IPL; fearless, confident.
'' Unlike in New York people don't have the habit of sharing their conveyance in Kerala which could reduce the traffic considerably.'' I generalised .
''How do you know about people sharing vehicles in New York'' He was surprised at my knowledge of New York.

These Menons (like Kochappan who is also a Menon) of Chittoor Road and Ravipuram area of Ernakulam look down upon the Menons ( like me) from Edappally area with a certain amount of
You know, I am not getting the apt word, say ridicule. I will prove that the Edappally ones are equal to the Chittoor Road ones.

'' I have read David Letterman, an American, who said that he has seen two New Yorkers, total strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tyres, and the radio, and the other guy took the engine''

There was silence at the other end. I could not make out whether Kochappan fell or silence fell.
I will call him up tomorrow.....

Kochappan,Obama and his umbrella.

This is the story of a convicted criminal and The Sultan Of Persia ; and to an extent Kochappan.
Let me come to the nuts and bolts of the matter without aplomb.

The criminal was sentenced to death. He, to escape the death sentence pronounced on him, gave a promise to the Sultan that he can train and make one of the horses owned and loved by the Sultan to fly in one year. Enamored by the dream of flying around the world on horse back the Sultan agreed to the proposal. On being asked by another criminal as to how he can achieve the fete the condemned criminal said '' There is the possibility of four things happenings in this one year. The King may pass away in this one year. I may die a natural death. The horse itself may die .And for all you know the miracle of the horse flying can also happen !!. My life is saved for now.''

Where is Kochappan in this story?.

When Kochappan left his job in the UN organisation in Hyderabad in a hurry people were discussing about various possibilities. He may have been sent out because of inadequate performance, was one. People who overestimated him felt that that job was below par for his competencies. Those who knew about his romantic bent of mind felt that he may have got himself into, what one might call romantic entanglements not approved by the Telegu society that made him flee the country; to the US of A.

The truth is none of these. It's Obama the first 'Black Precedent' of US that beckoned him to US.
'Precedent' because there is no precedence of a black holding that office.

Kochapps is the Adviser Media and Press connect of ' Oba' ; the a fore mentioned romantic bent of kochappan doesn't allow him to reel out the name in full; hence 'Oba'.Who henceforth will be mentioned by me also only thus.

The first feather in the cap of Kochappan was placed by Oba when Kochappan termed him the 'Precedent' and not the usual 'President'. The second feather placed by Obe was for a press release Kochapps wrote the title which read:
'' The president promises a great budget ; more lies ahead''.

I called up Kochappan at New York to find whether the wrong English which alludes to the precedent being liar has caused any resentment from the Americans.

''Aniyan'' he spoke to me from U.S.'' This usage in English is known as 'Double etendre' which one in India calls double meaning. When you read a caption '' Local high school drop outs cut in half'' doesn't mean that drop outs are physically cut into half. Learn proper English aniya. Learn.'' He severed the tele connection mercilessly; the only connection he had with mercy was with Mercy George of II nd year Bsc Zoology in Maharaja's College; after that he has not shown any mercy to any body; he has been Merci less since then.

I rang him up yesterday night. My anxiety to know more about Oba and English language made me call him. We spoke thus.
Normally I address him as 'Edai, kochappa'; that was when he was in India. things have changed a bit , you know.
''Americans are upset , according to paper reports, about two things Oba has done recently. He bent in front of the Emperor in Japan and bowed in front of King Abdulla of Saudi Arabia.'' I waited solicitingly for his comments.
''That is to respect History. By bowing in front of the Emperor ofJapan Oba was reminding the people of America that had Nippon won the war which started with the attack of Pearl Harbour
this emperor would have been the emperor of the US.''

''Oba'', he paused,stuck his neck out through the window, took in a fresh volume of Oxygen from the Rego Park area of New York,and continued. ''Oba did not actually bow to King Abdulla. Oba being taller had to stoop low to shake hands with the short version of the King. This is being given adverse publicity by a columnist of Fox TV who bears an ill will against Oba's 'Precedency'.

'' Do you know that the Chinese have been bowled over by Obama's visit there. They were wonder struck to see the 'Precedent of United States of America' emerging alone from the
Air Force one carrying an umbrella' . Nobody held the umbrella for him unlike his Chinese counterpart.He walked alone with a smile on his lips and an umbrella in his hand. that did it Aniyan, that did it.'' Kochappan ended the soliloquy . Then there was silence; pregnant one.

We Menons may fight but coming to appreciating talent we never cringe

'' Kochappan you are great. your advise of the umbrella did the trick.Papers say that shops in China are selling T shirts with Obama's picture of emerging from the aircraft with the umbrella with a caption '' Serve the people like Oba-Mao''

There was silence at the other end of the phone; for the second time in few minutes.
'' Be in touch. Iam the same old Kochappan for you''. I was touched ; in the heart.

We went to bed with heavy hearts; he in Apartment 5B, Rego Park, New York and I in 44/2977c, MCB road, Kaloor, Kochi.

Rajasekharan, Kochappan , and I.

'' If I learned about aspects professional from Mr.Kulkarni, Mr.Rajasekharan's lessons were about meeting challenges, facing them, and about finer aspects of life like literature, music etc.''

'' You are lucky to have had such people in life'' Kochappan commented; probably with a sense of loss. If Lehman bros, and Morgan Stanley can go on loss , why not Kochappan?. I thought.

'' Music and literature. That's interesting. What did he teach you?'' Kochapps was curious because he had an intense passion for learning classical music.

'' I used to learn the meaning of the words of Thiagaraja and other Keerthanas which helped me to bring 'Bhava' to the songs well .... '' I couldn't complete because Kochapps interrupted.

''Which keerthana's meaning?'' he was eager.

'' All of us have been hearing 'Vathapi gana pathim bhaje' for years together. How many of us know the meaning of it. It's Rajasekharan who taught me the meaning. He told me . '' You are addressing Lord Ganapathi in that keerthana.When you say 'Vaa' the singer is invoking him to come; for his presence. 'Thaa' means shower me with your blessing. Up to this probably others would have explained but nobody would have told you about 'Pi ganapathi'.

'' That is true. what does 'Pi Ganapathi' mean'' Kochappan asked earnestly.

'' Ganapathi is the son of Lord Parameswara. So 'Pi' in ' Pi Ganapathi' stands for Ganapathi's initials ; Parameswaran ganapathi. Has anybody given you such valuable information. Only Raj is capable doing it''.

I still don't know what struck him, but before I could reach him Kochappan went down from the chair to the floor with a big 'Thud' sound.

This happened on the day of the terrorist attack in Mumbai. He opened his eyes today;ten days after the fall.

His wife and others think that he went down from his chair after seeing the gory scenes in Mumbai on TV. I did not tell any body that his going down like piece of teak wood chopped down was after hearing Rajasekharan's explanation about the 'P ganapathi'. They might also get struck by Raj's profound knowledge of music and literature and go down. I didn't want one whole family getting affected. I kept mum.

I have not gone to see Kochappan yet; if he sees me he might go down again reminded of pi.Ganapathi !

Kulkarni, Kochappan, and I.

'' We were walking around the campus of 'The Leela Beach Goa' the Leela group hotel.
I and Mr.Kulkarni . It may have been after 11PM ; after that day's conference and dinner of the Southern Regional Stockists Meet. Probably 13 years back; Iam not sure, but around then.
Our subject was obviously an analysis of the day's proceedings. I was of the opinion that we should speak in person to the Chef about the shortcomings of the hotel.
Let me interrupt and remind you that my learning have been mainly from others.
I learned a lesson from Mr.Kulkarni that night like I have learned, probably so many from you.'' I stopped and looked at Kochappan. He was listening and the he asked me ''what did you learn?''

'' 'Our job is to choose a good venue for a conference and not to give training to the hotel staff where they were wanting in services. Utilize time and energy in productive work' '' that is what I learned from him.'' I replied.

I have mentioned to you earlier about my proficiency in arithmetic esp in adding. I didn't want to perform badly.
'' I have become knowledgeable after I worked with people like him'' I added.
'' I have become quite knowledgeable in Electrical Engineering because of my intelligence, and ability to relate to others what I know which is a must in a career in selling'' I added once again; making it two in a row.
Kochappan looked at me and then he spoke '' Aniyan. You obviously have learned a lot from people like me and Kulkarni, and also from your experience in the Electrical engg company. I have a doubt which I have been wanting to clarify. People use, and we all talk about 'Voltage' and 'Current'. What is the difference. Can you tell me in simple words about them?''his query was genuine.

We Menons are used to handling complex issues and not simple ones.But for the sake of Kochappan I ventured to do it.

'' They are inter related. you may not understand it easily.I will explain to you. Voltage is something from which you get shock and Current is something for which you pay the bill every month'' I replied with confidence.
I have seen many expressions on Kochappan's face when I have imparted such knowledge to him on earlier occasions .
You may have seen the computer 'hanging'; it stays put, nothing moves. On listening to my answer Kochappan attained that status ; He hung. He rebooted after few seconds.

'' I would like to tell you about few other things I have learned from others who shares this blog with you'' I wanted to continue.

'' Not today Aniyan. One cannot take more than one such example in day. Keep it for another day'' said Kochapps.

I was moving out when he called me from behind and said '' I want to see Mr. Kulkarni when he comes to Kochi next.''

'' Sure'' I said.''He is great''I added. .I added for the third time in a day; remarkable achievement at that.

'' He shoud be.'' said kochappan, '' for him to have managed sales of such a big company with such knowledgeable people like you''.

'' But not many like me. I was an exception'' .Humility didn't prevent me from claiming that.

'' Sure there may not have been many who could explain 'Voltage' and 'current' as simple as that''. He accepted and in appreciation of me he smiled and added.

'' Despite you that company did well. Great company and great manager this Mr.Kulkarni''.

I went to bed with the satisfaction of having contributed to the image of the company and my manager. Great day!

Kochappan, Bullshit, and Honeymoon.

Let me refresh your memory.

I stood like the remnants of the city of Baghdad after Kochappan made an indirect reference to ' bullshitting one's way to top and not being able to hold on there on it's strength alone. I was so shaken by his reference to the ' output of the bull' I had not called him up. No I don't hate him for saying it because he means good when he expresses;bluntly at times.

He called me up today. '' Did you feel bad about my conversation with you?'' Without waiting for my answer he spoke on.It was thus.

'' A little bird was flying south in the winter.It was so cold that it froze and fell to the ground in a large field. while it was lying there a cow came and dropped some dung on it. As the bird lay there in the pile of cow dung it began to realise how warm it was; after a cold spell.It lay in warmth hoping to gain strength and fly again. Hearing the humming of the bird, a cat passing by discovered it and ate him.'' he paused. I cleared my throat to let him know that I was listening

And then he said '' Not every one who drops shit on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
And when you are in deep shit keep your mouth shut''.

I am not your enemy when I tell you to improve. Don't write a blog on my comments and tell everybody to read it. Keep your mouth, and computer shut on such matters. It's between me and you. Others may not understand it; the way I communicate to you''

'' They do understand.'' I clarified.

"Aniyan. 'Honeymoon' is derived from the Babylonians who declared 'Mead' , a honey flavoured wine, as the official wedding drink, stipulating that the bride's parent be required to keep the groom supplied with the drink for a period of one month''. He paused.

Then when he spoke his voice was soft '' Our Honey moon should not be for one month it should go on ; so long as you write and I can comment.''

I kept the receiver down. Switched off the light and went to bed. It was cold.I got under a blanket .I was like the tiny bird under the cow dung; cosy and warm.

'Not everybody who drops shit on you is your enemy'. Kochappan's words echoed.
I succumbed to his words and sleep.

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan the demolisher

My meeting with him lasted only for ten minutes. I went to him with I-scored-over-you feeling ; elated. But it didn't last long.

He demolished me. He rinsed me in what Samsung calls 'Tumble wash' ; BPL SANYO calls it 'Fuzzy logic' wash.
The less written about it the better.But still I want to let you know.It will be short but not sweet for me.
Here is it. Kochappan spoke without even wishing me and he spoke thus.

''Once upon a time, Aniyan, there were these friends; one turkey and a bull. The turkey had a desire to climb a huge tall tree perch there and see the world from top.

The turkey told the bull one day ''I have great desire to go up and perch on the top but I don't have the energy to do it''.

''You nibble bit of my droppings every day. It has got nutrients and will give you enough energy
to fly up and rest on top'' said the bull.
The turkey started eating the dung of the bull every day and found that it could reach branches higher up as days passed by.And finally after two weeks of this routine the turkey reached the top most branch and perched there happily.But it's happiness was short lived. A farmer spotted the turkey on top of the tree and shot it down.'' Kochappan paused, looked straight at me, and then added with reference to my creative attempt of correcting The Hindu article.

''Bullshit can take one to the top, but it won't keep one there for long''.

Grouch Marx had told somebody once '' I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception.'' Kochappan didn't say it to me. But the look on his face said it all.

The remnants of Aniyan stood there like the city of Baghdad bathed in the moonlight ; demolished,plundered,savaged;not by Bush of US ofA but by Kochappan 'The demolisher'

Kochappan,Bradd Pitt and ' The Hindu'.

The sky was overcast throughout the day. At 7.30 in the evening it started to rain. I was in an auto to Kochapp's place. I reviewed the happenings after I met him last.

I spoke to Gopal alias Kovalannan ( in Trivandrum style) about improving my writing skills to impress Kochappan. I was bent on impressing Kochapps ; as bent as the the 14th bent in the Mettupalayam-Ootty ghat route.One of the suggestions given was to make some changes and improve the writing of articles in the English dailies like The Hindu or Indian Express. This evening I was going prepared.

The TV serial actor Soman died in a bus accident at Alleppy. I mentioned about the news in the papers. He nodded his head and said that he had also read about it.

'The Hindu has not reported it correctly'' I said with confidence ; with the same confidence as Advaniji on the day of no confidence motion.
''correctly.?'' he asked. '' What is wrong.?''

'' Twelve dead in a bus accident.Seventy three injured.
Among the dead is the famous serial actor Soman.' was the headline. such a known actor and a casual mention? That's wrong'' I answered.

'' This headline can be in many styles'' kochappan said.
As usual he had a large peg of fresh air and wore the look of a scholar and continued '' One is the
type you mentioned the others could be

' Major bus accident in Alleppy
Twelve dead and seventy injured.Among the dead is the famous serial actor Soman'

' Soman famous serial actor dies in an accident.
Twelve dead, seventy injured'

' Private superfast crashes against a tree
Twelve people including serial actor dead
Brake failure is reported to be the cause'

Kochapps paused again for a large and having satisfied himself continued

'' The number of people dead is the main point in the 'The Hindu' headline
In the second the stress is on the place, Alleppy , where the accident took place. Importance is given to one of the dead, like the actor in the third one, and the type and cause of the accident is given prominence in the fourth one. All are correct. It depends on the news and the factor which a paper values that decides the style of title. The Hindu never errs, aniyan, it never does'' he concluded and had another large. If the 'larges' he had were what others have he would have been flat out on the floor. But he stood erect like the 'Statue of Liberty' ; if you have any prejudice against the a fore mentioned statue I would suggest the 'Eiffel Tower'.

We Menons donot take setbacks lying down. I had another ace up my sleeve. I took that out; a paperclip from The Hindu of Monday the 14th July. Gave it to him. He read it aloud.

' Twins for Angelina Jolie'
Oscar award winner Angelina has given birth to twins on saturday evening at the Lenval waterfront hospital ..... . The Actor Bradd Pitt, the twins father, was believed to be at her side'

''If I were a reporter for The Hindu I would have made a correction.'' I told Kochapps point blank.

''Like what'' he, with raised eye brows.

I followed the suit. I with my raised eyebrows, not as bushy as his, yet. ''The verb is placed wrongly. It should have been 'The Actor Bradd Pitt , believed to be the twins father,was at her side'.

Have seen people freezing or frozen ?. You should have seen Kochapps. He froze. he was a block of hard ice. Few moments passed. The room was hot . The placement of the verb as I did , took him by shock. He never thought I could be this creative. He started melting. He transformed from a frozen block to small pool of cold water.

Today he did not walk to his bedroom.He flowed like a small rivulet ; leaving a wet trail on the vitrified tile floor.

I sat back happy and contented; probably like Bradd Pitt believed to be the father of Angelina's twins !!

Kochappan the critic.

Kochappan quoted.

When he wants to drive home, he drives like anybody else, but when he wants to drive home a point, he quotes;that's what he did. we were having dinner in 'The Renaissance' at Kochi . He was at kochi on a holiday.

'' You have been writing for some time now'' he said.'' I have not made any comments about your writing or style of speaking in English till now, have I?.''

''No'' quoth I ; earnestly.

'' First of all please understand that by using high sounding words like 'quoth, loath, or both you won't become a good writer''.

He quoted Eleanor Roosevelt. '' One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it's expressed in the choices one makes.. . In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves.And the choices we make are our responsibility'. Have you heard this before?''. He asked me.

'' The name sounds familiar but Iam not able to place him exactly'' I replied.He gave me a look like the one Manmohan singh gave to Prakash Karat when the latter went to tell him that his party will not accept the 123 Agreement ; in utter disbelief and desperation. After taking few minutes and two swallows of white wine he asked me '' You know why I quoted those words'' .

''No'' I replied.

'' Like Roosevelt said your writing is not best expressed in words especially in English and the choices of your style is atrocious.''

At the cost of repetition, for your awareness, I should say that we Menons, esp the fragile ones like me, don't like being put down, even by other Menons. I kept a sullen face; like Thilakan when he was told that he is not getting the 'Bharath award for the best actor this year.

Kochappan continued.He does it without much prompting.
'' We were coming from Kottayam to Kochi once and you took a wrong turn somewhere. You stopped the car and asked a pedestrian the way to Main central road to proceed to Kochi. Instead of telling him that you have lost your way and asking the way to M.C.Road do you remember what you spoke to him.?''

'' No'' replied I.

'' This was your talk with him'' he quoted me this time. You beckoned him and said '' To put it to you in short, this man and I started from Kottayam at twilight. Having motored down slowly, we, to our dismay found that darkness has overtaken us, and lost direction.Could you please enlighten us on our present position in relation to M.C.Road which will take us to Kochi, from where if you travel 75 kms you will reach Thrissur which is the place through which you go to Guruvayoor .'' He stopped quoting me and continued.
'' If he were more muscular he would have changed your shape and thereby your destiny also.''

Very rarely does one get reviews from him ; so I listened.

''You claim that you can write copy for advertisements. You are not bad. But there again lack of
skill is evident. You wrote a slogan for that Flying club starting it's operations at Kochi.
' To All Trainee Pilots ! Our new crash course will qualify you for your flying licence in just two months' . Will any body join a pilot training where crash courses are offered.?'' He paused for a moment or so and reflected.

Except from a small location on the surface of his head wherefrom the light reflects a little during a sunny day, he doesn't reflect in the literal sense.
He continued '' You, like most of the Keralites have a feeling that you know everything when you know a little. You try to show off.'' His voice became thick and accusing.

'' When you told me that your building contractor has a habit of telling lies I suggested to you to tell him straight that he is lying. How did you tell him that?.''

'' I told him straight that he has a habit of falling into the error of 'terminological inexactitude'.''

He turned red like Brinda karat on learning about 123 agreement. ''You expect him to refer your words to Ms Rosemary ,HOD, Communicative English, of Rajagiri Institute of Management studies and understand what you meant.''

The lights in the restaurant were being dimmed. Most of the guests had left. Kochappan had the last scoop of the dessert and looked up.I was put down so badly by him that I had difficulty in collecting my fragments from under the table, and the floor, and putting it together to resurrect myself.

''Are you hurt by my comments.?'' he asked me sincerely. I forced a smile but answered equally sincerely.'' No. I want to improve and I will.''

The car carrying him to the airport receded from my vision. I turned into the lane in which I live. Few rain drops fell on me; the first few announcing the arrival of the monsoon.
My friendship with Kochappan is not founded in business but his business of advising me is founded on friendship. I have to go by it.
It's almost three in the morning.

'Three'oclock is too late or too early to start anything you want to do' said Sartre.
I agree with him.
I stretched on the bed. Ran the conversation back and forth until gradually sleep reduced me to nonexistance.

Menon ( aniyan )

In the 1940s a British traveller to Anholt, a small island fifty miles out in the Kattegat, between Denmark and Sweden, noticed some island children singing a piece.

' Jeck og Jill
vent op de hill
og Jell kom tombling down.'

This ditty had been brought to the island by occupying British soldiers during Napoleonic wars.
This rhyme has been in circuit for the 130 years or more.

This traveller would have heard the same nursery rhyme if he had walked through the Chittor road in Kochi from an old, but elegant building; the voice emanating from the throat and heart of Kochappan ; such was his learning and proficiency in English even those early days when English was all Latin and French to most of us.

On the morning of 2 July of 1881, President James Garfield accompanied by his secretary of state, James Blaine was passing through the Central station in Washington, DC, to spend a holiday in New Jersey, when Charles Guiteau, a lawyer, walked up to him and shot him point blank with a .44 calibre pistol. To provide some comfort for the ailing President the core of Naval Engineers was called in to provide a cooling device in his hospital room. They rigged up a large iron box filled it with ice, salt , water and Terry cot filters saturated with melting ice.

Iam not the president of a country nor is Kochappan member of that team who provided the President with melting ice. But whenever I had been deserted by words, thirsty for words , real thirsty, he had been providing me with words which could melt into a sentence and quench my thirst too.

He is the one who gave me the definition of 'Happiness' as 'Having a large , loving ,caring family in another city.'
'' In these days of sophistication and modernity'', he told me, ''things are not 'Stolen' but 'differently acquired' ''.

He told me that 'Abraham Lincoln was the greatest President of America' and not the
' greatest Precedent ' as I have been mentioning. He chided me once saying that Iam the reason for ' global warming.'

After having worked in the USA and UK ,he gave me some insight about those places.
''In U.S'' he told me once, ''dancing with a girl, mostly, is a perpendicular action of a horizontal desire''.

''The sun never sets in the British Empire because, even God doesn't trust an English man in darkness.'' he added. He does that often without any provocation; love for Arithmetics probably.
The only time he subtracts is when you ask him his age.

He pointed out the subtle difference between 'Desire ' and 'Wish' to me.
He told me that I have a 'desire' to write. Desire shows a strong intention to do something and it's normally within reach. 'Wish' is almost the same but gives a sense that it is un attainable. I 'wish' I could write, or sing etc.

He is the one who taught me that 'Log on' is not adding wood to the fire place, and that 'Hard drive' is not a trip through the MC road in Kerala. '' A Mouse pad, aniyan, is not where the mouse lives.'' he told me with patience.

Can I call up such a person and tell him '' Hai Iam aniyan. Long time no see''. That's why I haven't mentioned about him for the last two months. I was diffident to intrude.

One doesn't dare call him. The best one can do to catch his attention is to clear the throat. I did that. Having come to know that Kochappan is at Kochi I rang him up at his hotel and cleared my throat. He acknowledged my presence and told me that he would meet me soon.

His voice came to me over phone. Next, it would be him in person.

'If winter comes can spring be far behind?''.


Menon ( aniyan )

Sarkozy,Carla and Kochappan

Gentlemen ! ( even if you are not one please go ahead and read !)

My mind was not neither in e mail nor fe males for quite some time; to be precise for almost two months. It's an issue which has been of concern for the Govt of India and me. Believe me, it is such an issue.

Mr.Kochappan, whose wiser counsel I seek on such occasions of predicament was away in Kottayam.

I was lost without his guidance. I was standing at a place where 'Two roads diverged into the woods' and I had to choose the right one. The only other person who had faced a similar situation in his life could be the poet Robert Frost; no one else to my knowledge.

Sitaram Yechuri and Prakash karat had whisked Kochappan away to Kottayam to to reconcile the warring factions of Pinarayi and Achumama. Such is Kochappan's counselling capacity.

I got him over phone at Kottayam; trifle late at night. From his tone I guessed that he was nursing a drink; he nurses only a drink or two at night these days; nothing else; age is catching up.

'' Iam anxious, so is Manmohan Singh, and the Foreign Affairs ministry,'' I said.

'' Regarding what?'' His questioning skill was evident.

'' About the visit of the French Premier Sarkozy and his woman Carla to India'' I replied in one breath.

'' Don't beat around the bush as Jyothi Basu does on Capitalism and Communism'' Kochapps warned.

'' Manmohan Singh is happy about Sarkozy's visit to India, but the Foreign affairs ministry has reservations about his girl friend Carla acompanying him. She cannot be accorded an official welcome. Prime Ministers should not be allowed to visit India with their living-in girl friends.''
I paused for breath and continued. '' Even Clinton had the sense not to bring Monica with him when he came here. He came alone to India. May be Monica would have come separately. But never together. Sarkozy can come alone but not with Carla. If she desires so she should come separately not with him .'' I put across my points of view bluntly to Kochapps.

There was a pregnant silence. Kochappan by habit weighs options before giving opinions. While he was weighing I had another gulp of fresh air and waited for his verdict .

'' Aniyan, how can India ever tell Sarkozy that he and Carla should not come together. A s a boy friend and girl friend they can come together or separately. And Sarkozy cannot dictate when Carla should come; he can make attempts to make her come when he wants her to come or delay it or prevent it, but then it is not fully in his hands. You must understand that it is even beyond Carla to decide whether and when she should come. So I suggest you don't worry whether they come separately or together. It's a family matter. It's Physiological, Aniyan, it's Physiological'' He disconnected.

As it happens always I couldn't understand what has Physiology got to do with Carla and Sarkozy coming together at the same time.

I want clarification and will ask him when he returns from Kottayam; but then if he and Brinda Karat are coming together even that may not be possible!


menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan, Karunakaran and Chicken shit.

The last I heard from him, he was in Sri Lanka. He had mentioned to me that he was released by the LTTE militants who had kept him captive,after he identified himself as 'The Kochappan' of Kochappan mails and the blog hero. The reason of his release, he secretly learnt, is their fear of his unleashing lessons in English, under captivity. They felt that they are better equipped to suffer the bombs dropped by the Lankan Airforce than suffering his lessons in English.

They don't know what they are missing !.

Keeping in line with his request for noting the important news items, and feeding him with that through Email, I had prepared the following news items and sent them for his nourishment,at his breakfast. Here are some of them with his responses & comments.

Nairobian Giant cobra - This is a new species of giant 'Spitting Cobra', about 2.5m long has enough venom to kill 20 people in one bite.The 'Naja Ashei species' is named after it's founder James Ashe, the owner of a Kenyan snake farm. It can be identified by it's 'black neck'.

Kochappan responded thus - This is no great discovery by the Kenyan. We have been having such cobras in India, particularly in Kerala, for years. They may be 5 to 6 ft long. They are found in different colours here, instead of black. They are seen in Tri colour, Red, Green and Saffron colours.They move around freely without any fear and pose as if they own the land.
They can spit poison and kill not just twenty but anything which comes across them.They 'hiss'
not from their hidings, but from the platforms through audio equipments, esp during the election season.

Doris Lessing, the British Novelist , Nobel Laureate in Literature - She could not attend the function but sent her lecture ' On not winning the Nobel Prize' which was read out by her British editor Nicholas Pearson.

Kochapps said - This is no big surprise news either. Salim - Javed had prepared a half an hour speech on 'Not winning the Nobel Prize' when their fiction 'DEEWAR' was rejected in the competition for Nobel. But then later on, the film made on this fiction won the 'Filmfare Award' and that went a long way in assuaging the hurt feelings of S&J . Even Vinayan, whose
' Vasanthiyum, Lakshmiyum pinne Janum' had the same fate. The Nobel committee, Vinyan says, had informed him that it's the length of the title that cost him the award.

Karunakaran's return to congress- After vociferously abusing Sonia Gandhi and her leadership the former CM of Kerala is now singing in her praise and is awaiting her permission to join congress.

I didn't get the return mail with his comments. He called me up to tell me about his return trip from Sri lanka.
After that talk I mentioned about the news about Karunakaran's request to Sonia Gandhi to take him back.

'Man is the only animal who blushes ; or needs to.' wrote Mark Twain.
''Karunakaran needs to'' said Kochappan.

'' I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad'' Lyndon Johnson said that about Richard Nixon. Take it from me, Aniyan. Sonia Gandhi also ought to know that much''. These were last words of the day from Kochapps from Sri Lanka.

I am awaiting his arrival. I miss him; his words, and wisdom, very badly.

menon ( aniyan )

Abraham Lincoln, Gandhiji, and Kochappan.

'' I have done nothing to make any human being remember that I have lived. yet what I wish to live for is to connect my name with the events of my day and generation, to link my name with something which will be of interest to my fellow men.''

Abraham Lincoln ( 1809-1865 )

Kochappan used to quote this frequently, saying that the purpose of his life is also the same; to provide something of interest to his fellow men.

Steven Spielberg's movie "The Close Encounters of the Third kind" gives you an audio visual idea of three encounters with the UFOs (Un identified Flying Objects).

'Heard but never seen.'
'Heard and seen', and
'Coming in actual contact with the object'

Having had the fortune of having the close encounter of the third kind with Kochappan I have been at the receiving end of matters of interest from him.

Let me relate to you and provide you with some of them.

I sent him a mail of ' Heartfelt Congratulations' on his receiving 35th Anniversary Commemorative Award for Management Services from the ICRISAT, a UN organisation, at Sri Lanka two days back.

In reply, instead of thanking me for the message, he corrected my English and mentioned that
though 'Heartfelt' means sincere, it's normally used with sadness like 'Heartfelt' condolences,
and that I should have used the word 'Hearty' if I meant what I sent. This is what he wants to
provide people during his life time.

Many a time in my life have I got such invaluable guidance from him, a few of them I would like to relate to less fortunate people like you, who have not had the 3rd type of close encounter with him.

When I was infactuated with a young lass of surpassing beauty during my adolescence, he had warned me that though she is like 'pure snow' to look at she has a tendency to drift like snow, and that if she drifts like what she was doing then, she would end up like the 'Indian Railway' ; laid right across the country.

Once when I used the expression, 'I want to have the cake and eat it too', he admonished me by saying that I should have said 'I want to eat the cake and have it too' to mean what I really meant.

When I reminded him to put his 'best foot forward' when he was entering his newly built flat
at Hyderabad he asked me sarcastically whether he had the option of 'good' and 'better' foot to choose! Such is his brilliance!

In another occasion while travelling long distance by train he asked me ''If a turtle loses it's shell
is it naked or homeless?'' Another occasion when we were in his car he asked why one gets
'in' and 'out' of a car but gets 'on' and 'off' a bus. Questions of sheer brilliance which made me think.

He advised me not to 'assume' things in life because it will make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'.

To impress upon me the necessity to know about great people and their lives he used ask me questions about them. One late evening,while sitting and sipping a cup of tea in his balcony he asked whether I knew what one leg of Marilyn Monroe say to the other when she was dead and laid in the coffin. I couldn't give the answer. '' At last we are together''. He gave the answer himself.
'' Between you and me we have made lot of money'' ; before being buried, at the end of a long journey of life, that was what one leg of Marilyn in it's last conversation to other said; with a sigh of relief.''These might sound a bit lewd, indecent. But see the construction of the sentences
and the clarity of expression'' .He added.
Profound knowledge; that was what he was parting with .

He taught me that 'History' is about past and I need not say 'Past history', that I need not 'lift up' (because I cannot lift anything down) nor 'raise it up', he doesn't like getting 'free gifts' and 'advance warning' and that I should not ' mix things together' and that he won't 'repeat again' these lessons.

While on the topic of history he told me that they were called 'Romans' , because those people had the habit of roaming around.

I can go on with examples of his attempts to be of use to people. The one such saying of his which I still remember is the one he told me on the day of my marriage.

''Aniyan, a happiness of life is having a loving,caring, and close knit family; in another city''

That could be the reason why he goes on frequent tours to cities of Syria, Africa and SriLanka.

Like Gandhiji he practises what he preaches. Such is his greatness !!!

menon ( aniyan )

Paris Hilton and the elephants of Meghalaya.

'' Conservationists on Tuesday hailed the socialite Paris Hilton, who has been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol, for trying to highlight the cause of 'Rice Beer' drinking elephants in the northeast.'' I read the news headline and had a genuine doubt.

We, Menons, by tradition, donot like carrying doubts in our respective minds for too long. It's unnecessary; carrying doubts and walking around; esp when brilliant people like Kochappan is up and around.

I asked him ''Doesn't the head line suggest that Paris Hilton was driving around in drunken state and got arrested to highlight the plight of the elephants.?''

Kochappan looked at me. Lord Parama Shiva is the only other known person to have a look like that, which I presume, can make the receiving end burn and turn ash in colour. Ash colour we all know, is not associated with glamour or good looks of men.

''You idiot'' he said thus.'' The Hindu paper head lines are written by world class journalists. If you can't understand good English keep quiet. Read it once gain and make sense.''

We were at the airport lounge waiting for the security check call. Kochapps was leaving for Syria.

I read the head line once again.Things didn't improve much.

What is Paris Hilton?. You might ask.Well I had made a mention about her in connection with the Pamela Anderson case. To recap, she is one of those actresses of Holly Wood who fills her sweaters well.Not to the level Pam Anders or Bipasha of Bollywood does but good enough to be in business.

''Read it and tell me more about that news?'' Kochappan was arranging some papers in his brief case.

'' The wild elephants of Assam, of late, have got into the habit of getting drunk on the farmers home made 'Rice Beer', and going on rampage destroying farms etc.This alcoholism among elephants of Meghalaya is growing and is causing concern among the conservationists and animal lovers.'' I summed up the story. ''Paris Hilton came to know of this alarming news when she was attending the fifth wedding of Pamela Anderson in New York. She left the function in a hurry ; concerned.

'' The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. we need to stop making alcohol available to them.'' She said to the World Entertainment News Network, the same evening.

'' Five elephants have died of Cirrhosis of liver and three more have been diagnosed for that''
a concerned Paris Hilt told press reporters on her arrival at the airport in Tokyo yesterday, on her way to Guwahati in India to study the problem.

'' We are happy that she ( Paris Hilt) has taken note of this incident and is coming to Guwahati to prevent elephants from consuming farmers home made Rice Beer and dying of Cirrhosis''
said Sangeeta Goswami, who heads Animal Rights Group of animals in India.

Soumyadeep Dutta of 'Natures Beckon' a conservationist group said that Elephant alcohol abuse is a real problem and it will get a boost by the visit of a person who is known in this field of
alcohol abuse.

On being asked by a correspondent about Pamela's expertise and credentials in this issue of alcohol abuse, Soumya in her deep voice replied '' Nobody from Hollywood can have more credentials and commitment in this matter than Paris Hilt.Like Mahatma Gandhi has courted
arrest and jail for the cause of freedom of India, Paris has been arrested and has spent time in jail for alcohol abuse.Such is her commitment to it.Jailed not once, but several times !'' .

I conveyed the news item to Kochappan thus; sat back had a sip of coffee and added my impressions about the news.'

'' An actress from Hollywood like Paris Hilt is concerned about the growing alcoholism of elephants of India.Has any body from Bollywood shown any concern ; Has Rani Mukherjee uttered a word about?. They have no patriotism.''

'' Why do you call her Paris Hilt.? Is she not Paris Hilton as you were mentioning earlier.?'' The genuineness of his doubt was apparent from his voice.

" That's how I call her affectionately''. I said decidedly.His jaw, the lower one, was about to fall but he managed to hold it. Some silken voice announced the security check. We stood up.

Then he asked me. ''Aniyan do you know the difference between tragedy and calamity?.''

Without waiting for my answer he said. ''The fact that I am leaving you now and will not be seeing you for over a month is a tragedy.But if the security check and the flight departure were to be delayed, then sitting here, and listening to you about Paris Hilt would have been a calamity''.
I knew that he was taking a dig at me. If you ask Kochappan ' What is it that you can put down without lifting up.?' he would say 'Aniyan'. This was one such put down.

How much and what would he know about me and my Paris Hilt, and of course the elephants of Meghalaya?.


menon ( aniyan )

Mallur kaadukal (The Mallur Forests)

'' This is not a very old story. Yes,it's about those times; the bridge across the river at Kuttipuram was not there then.

Stray travellers to south, far and few, had to cross the river by ferry boats. Once you cross the river,the pathway to reach south of Kuttipuram was only through the Mallur Kaad (Mallur forest).
The sands of the river bed and the pathway has lot of stories to tell; gory stories of robberies
and murders of travellers ending up in 'Mallur kayam'. ''

'' What is Mallur Kayam?'' asked Naveen the six year old grandson of his neighbour;he drops in at night to hear stories from Kochappan and fall asleep.It's almost a regular affair. Today I also joined the story listening session. I sat on the floor stretched my legs in front and leaned on to the cot. Cool breeze blew in. It was quiet.Ideal for story listening session.

'' Mallur is a point in that jungle path. There was a huge trench filled with water; unused, un touched and filthy; quite deep too.That's Mallur kayam.''
'' Tell me the story''. Naveen was impatient.

Kochapps continued. '' The ferry man was a crooked and wicked fellow. He had a wife and a son, 10 years old.This man used to give information, about the arrival of travellers by his boat, to a gang of robbers. These robbers used to waylay people, rob them,kill them, and throw their body into the Mallur kayam. They used to give a share of the things robbed to the ferry man also.''

Naveen was listening with concentration written on his face. Let me admit; so was I. Long time since I listened to a story;Chittappan (uncle) used to tell similar ones years back.

'' One day the ferry man, for some silly reason, got angry with his son. He heated an iron rod and pressed that on to his son's legs above his knee ; like he used to brand the cattle whenever he bought a new one for identification. His poor mother couldn't stop the ferry man from doing it.
The mother was in agony seeing her son writhing in pain.The ferry man never repented any wrong he did in his life.''

I could see the pain in Naveen's eyes.

'' One day the boy didn't return from the forest where he had gone to collect firewood. The mother waited; for days and days. He never came back.The mother grew sick and died few months later. The father continued his activities and helped the robbers ; ate , drank well and lived.''
Kochappan was intense in his narration. It was not listening. It was seeing; the story.

'' And one day came a traveller who looked rich.As usual the ferry man signalled to the robbers about the arrival.The traveller refused to part with the money he had. They killed him by by cutting his throat. Took away all he had and gave the ferry man his share and left.''

'' And then it happened'' Kochappan continued.'' While taking the body to be thrown into the Mallur kayam the ferry man noticed a mark on the thigh of the traveller. It was the burn mark; the scar of the wound he had inflicted on his son years back.The wound had healed but the scar remained.He had returned after years of exile to see his parents.It was a moment of realisation for the ferry man of all the wrong things he has done in his life.He dragged the body and threw it into the kayam.Feeling repentent about the atrocities he had commited ,he also jumped into the trench and commited suicide.'' Kochappan finished the story.

Naveen nestled closer to Kochappan. He was a bit scared.Naveen liked the story. He was probably turning the story over and over again in his mind.

Kochappan looked at me. He was stroking the head of Naveen to comfort him, to put him to sleep.

'' Are things any different now?'' he broke the silence posing a question; to himself, to me, to no one in particular.

'' There is one Jessica Lal cut to pieces, loaded on to an oven and roasted;not in Mallur kayam or Chambal forest. In Delhi, not by robbers but by rulers. Now such things happen every day These children will have lot of stories to narrate like I did to day.They do not take place in forests but within the cities. They are not done by ferry men but men of power and pride.They don't hide in the forests or valleys. They walk around under the flash light of cameras. They come by BMWs, Skodas , loot, kill, rape and go scot free.''

The moral anger flared up in him.He finished his soliloquy.

A 'soliloquy' as defined in the Oxford Dictionary, is, the act of talking when alone or regardless of any listeners, esp, in drama. If you have a clinical hatred towards the usage 0f such dramatic words for such a simple situation, may I compare it to the delivery of a monologue by Amitab or
(if you are particular about south) Rajanikanth.

After finishing that 'Soliloquy' or 'dialogue' he looked at me.I was overawed by his diligent summing up of the two different scenarios , of the past and the present. I sat there looking at him admiring his capacity to narrate a folk tale to a six year old with the same expertise with which he used to teach me nuances of British and American English. Amazing man this Kochappan!
After covering Naveen with ablanket he turned and saw me sitting and staring at him.

'' Why do you sit there and look like an envelope without an address written on it?''

I smiled in reply; looked at Naveen. He was blissfully asleep.

I couldn't get sleep when I went to bed.

No, its not the sad story of the ferry man and his son.It was this mention about me and the 'envelope without address on it' that I couldn't understand.

Hats off to Kochappan!. He always speaks things which people can't understand.

I must ask him about it tomorrow!


menon ( aniyan )

'The Californian Fire'

The name of the Drama.

The Californian Fire

The persons of the play

Kochappan - Hero
Aniyan- Hero's friend

Mrs. Kochappan- Kochappan's wife; obviously.

Mrs. Aniyan- Aniyan's wife; obviously


ActI. sceneI.

Kerala. Kochi.

Monday.
Time: 7.30am. The scene opens in the drawing room of Aniyan's Manor.

Aniyan is seated in a chair reading 'Malayala Manorama' news paper. Mrs.Aniyan enters with a cup of hot coffee. She smiles at him and places the cup closer to his lip. Aniyan holds the cup to avoid 'a slip between the cup and the lip'. Having succeded in that he has a sip and turns to the paper. Mrs.Aniyan floats out to back stage.

The telephone rings. Aniyan reaches for it without taking his eyes off Manorama; no that's not the house maid sweeping the floor, but the morning news paper.

Aniyan's expression changes to that of great concern. He drops the paper and rushes inside, returns in trousers sporting a civilised look.

He searches for and gains possession of his automobile key.

Mrs.Aniyan. ''What happened? where are you going?''

Aniyan. ''To comfort Kochappan. He is in deep distress''

Mrs Aniyan. ''What has become of him? I beseech thee. Tell me''. Mrs Aniyan was in Shakesperian style.

Aniyan while moving away. ''It's Californian fire, USA make''.

Mrs Aniyan stands with mouth and eyes wide open.
The sound of the car starting and speeding away.

ActI. sceneII

Kochappan's Mansion surrounded by neatly pruned trees.
Sound of crickets and chirping of birds.

Mrs. Kochappan floats in and around the garden.

Sound of an automobile approaching. The automobile speeds in, comes to a screeching halt.
The door opens. Aniyan comes out and runs up the steps to the mansion and vanishes into the building.

Mrs.Kochappan watches the vanishing Aniyan with open eyes; her jaws fallen. She regains composure and reinstates her fallen jaw.

ActI. Scene III

Kochappan's chamber. Huge bed at the center and a huge wall clock with swinging pendulam facing the bed. Big oil painting of Ravi Varma adorns the wall.

Kochappan is on the Persian carpet on the floor; occasionally writhing as though in terrible pain.
Aniyan enters, bends down and sits near him on the floor.

Aniyan. ''I pray you! tell me the cause of this distress!'' Touches him. Gradually Kochappan quietens.

Aniyan helps him to his bed. Gives him nourishments.

Kochappan revives and speaks. ''I am distressed since I saw the news programme on BBC this morning''.

Aniyan. ''What could be the piece which caused this agony?''

Kochappan. ''The fire in California in US''.

Aniyan. ''Any of your relatives affected?'' in Indian English.

Kochappan. ''No. Lot of dignitaries lost their homes including Hollywood celebrities''.

How does it concern him? Aniyan thought.

Aniyan. ''Any celebrity of your aquaintance?''

Kochappan. '' Yes. Pamela Anderson''.

Aniyan lapses into thoughts. Till I mentioned about her yesterday, he never knew her. What is his concern? Aniyan keeps his stray thoughts in the oak chest near the bed because he knows that Kochappan doesnot relish anybody's thoughts straying around in his chamber unnecessarily.

Kochappan. ''You apprised me about the journey of that lady from rags to riches in Hollywood. I remember your generous appreciation for her mind and body. You mentioned about her devotion to the career in the field of dramatics; her willingness to accept the challenge of dropping the clothes at the slightest suggestion of her movie directors, even in the freezing weather of American winter. Remarkable! Remarkable !''

Aniyan listens with rapt attention. His face bears a solemn look.
Refrains of Beethovan's music flows into the stage from the background.

Kochappan (adds as if with Abacus) ''I was consumed by pity for her when BBC reported about Pamela Losing her home in the major fire which engulfed California. Many a people would have lost but Pamela's loss ... ''Kochappans voice chokes with emotion. He holds his head in his hands and bends down. Aniyan moves near him; whispers sweet nothings in his ears. Comforts him.

Aniyan. ''Please donot be concerned about Pamela. She has been quoted to be saying that she intends to divorce her latest marriage to benefit from it and to make up for her loss of home''

Kochappan. "Divorce and benefit? Pray, don't be foolish, Aniyan, my bosom friend''.

Aniyan.'' She has said that she is a good home maker because everytime she divorces she makes a home from her ex-husband. She has three homes from her three divorces and this will be her fourth one. And for her luxuries of life she will work hard and never waste time being outside her bed''

Kochappan's face lights up. Aniyan moves closer to Kochappan, embraces him and departs.

The End


This is how I had to write to you about today's incidents; because today was a day of dramatic events. I swear on God ! It was dramatic, literally!!

menon ( aniyan )

Pamela and Kochappan's breathing.

"Pamela Anderson got married''. That's the first thing I told him this evening. I was meeting kochapps after a week or so.

"Who is she?'' Kochappan asked me with tremendous dis interest.

''Famous actress of Hollywood like MarilynMonroe and Ursula Andress'', I related to two of the actresses of our generation. ''Now Ursula is 68 and Monroe has gone under the earth, probably inspiring cabbages there'', I completed.

"She was known as Ursula undress because in most of her films she used to shed her clothes without any provocation'', Kochappan stopped . His breathing became heavy. No, he is not an Asthma patient. It's the recollection of Ursula undress. He recovered from his recollection fairly quickly.

But I never guessed that he will lapse into another bout of breathlessness; it happened
when I showed him the photograph of Pamela Anderson. He had a look at it. Then he started gasping.

The next thing he asked me was a peg of Gin; as usual I served it Cordial ly.

''Marylin used to work a lot to do justice to her career. She used to sweat it out and 'Dramatic art', in her opinion, was filling her sweater. Pamela also belongs to that category of actresses who fill their sweater admirably well.'' The Gin had soothened Kochappan's nerves. '' What about her marriage?'' The question followed.

"Pamela Anderson is as misunderstood an actress as Urs undress. Pamela's mission in life is to provide people, in these days of hardship, some moments of entertainment which she does on and off screen. She is a path breaker and has done her lot to develop and encourage the younger generation''

'' Like what?'' he was getting interested in Pamela.

'' Like in her marriages. She always married people who are younger to her by at least 4 to 5 years'', I answered; in simple English.

'' Marriages? Youngsters?'' He couldn't understand the concept; it wasn't the English as I had thought.

''Yes. She married Rick Salomon, 32, 8 years younger to her, in Les Vegas last week. It was not that Rick was unmarried. His marriage with Paris Hilton was going bad. Paris Hilton, who is also Pam's friend, requested her to look after Rick and develop him to be a good husband. Pamela took upon this responsibility and got married to Rick, putting an end to her marriage with Tommy Lee. Meanwhile Paris Hilton got married to Jack Straw and is developing him.''

''Wait. Hold on,'' Kochappan interrupted me. ''Go slow. I am not able to catch up with the scenario fully. What is Paris Hilton? Who is Tommy Lee?''

''Paris Hilton is another actress who also belongs to the 'fill- the- sweater- school' of actresses;
not as much gifted as the other two, but striving hard.

Tommy Lee is another actor whom Pamela developed when his first marriage went to rocks.''

I looked at Kochappan. For the third time today I noticed his breathing becoming heavier.

I continued un mindfully, ''Pamela the path breaker turned up in a two piece bikini for her first marriage with Tommy, but appeared in a Jeans and shirt for the third one''.

''Third one? What about her second marriage?'' Kochappan's breathing was becoming heavier.

''There are no clear records or data available anywhere of her second marriage. Pamela herself has announced a cash Award of $5000 for any body who can throw some light on her second marriage. Who, where etc''. I concluded.

''What a lady! It's a pity I didn't know anything about her earlier''. There was a sense of loss in Kochappan's voice.

'' That's exactly what all her husbands have said about her''

'' What did they say?'' He was eager.

I quoted them. ''Oh! What a lady she is! Any time she spends outside of her bed is a total waste of time!''

I stood up, collected my umbrella, and looked at Kochappan. He was gazing at the sky through the open door of the balcony of his apartment on the 8th floor.

I didn't want to break his reverie; I moved out silently.......

menon ( aniyan )