Rajasekharan, Kochappan , and I.

'' If I learned about aspects professional from Mr.Kulkarni, Mr.Rajasekharan's lessons were about meeting challenges, facing them, and about finer aspects of life like literature, music etc.''

'' You are lucky to have had such people in life'' Kochappan commented; probably with a sense of loss. If Lehman bros, and Morgan Stanley can go on loss , why not Kochappan?. I thought.

'' Music and literature. That's interesting. What did he teach you?'' Kochapps was curious because he had an intense passion for learning classical music.

'' I used to learn the meaning of the words of Thiagaraja and other Keerthanas which helped me to bring 'Bhava' to the songs well .... '' I couldn't complete because Kochapps interrupted.

''Which keerthana's meaning?'' he was eager.

'' All of us have been hearing 'Vathapi gana pathim bhaje' for years together. How many of us know the meaning of it. It's Rajasekharan who taught me the meaning. He told me . '' You are addressing Lord Ganapathi in that keerthana.When you say 'Vaa' the singer is invoking him to come; for his presence. 'Thaa' means shower me with your blessing. Up to this probably others would have explained but nobody would have told you about 'Pi ganapathi'.

'' That is true. what does 'Pi Ganapathi' mean'' Kochappan asked earnestly.

'' Ganapathi is the son of Lord Parameswara. So 'Pi' in ' Pi Ganapathi' stands for Ganapathi's initials ; Parameswaran ganapathi. Has anybody given you such valuable information. Only Raj is capable doing it''.

I still don't know what struck him, but before I could reach him Kochappan went down from the chair to the floor with a big 'Thud' sound.

This happened on the day of the terrorist attack in Mumbai. He opened his eyes today;ten days after the fall.

His wife and others think that he went down from his chair after seeing the gory scenes in Mumbai on TV. I did not tell any body that his going down like piece of teak wood chopped down was after hearing Rajasekharan's explanation about the 'P ganapathi'. They might also get struck by Raj's profound knowledge of music and literature and go down. I didn't want one whole family getting affected. I kept mum.

I have not gone to see Kochappan yet; if he sees me he might go down again reminded of pi.Ganapathi !

Kulkarni, Kochappan, and I.

'' We were walking around the campus of 'The Leela Beach Goa' the Leela group hotel.
I and Mr.Kulkarni . It may have been after 11PM ; after that day's conference and dinner of the Southern Regional Stockists Meet. Probably 13 years back; Iam not sure, but around then.
Our subject was obviously an analysis of the day's proceedings. I was of the opinion that we should speak in person to the Chef about the shortcomings of the hotel.
Let me interrupt and remind you that my learning have been mainly from others.
I learned a lesson from Mr.Kulkarni that night like I have learned, probably so many from you.'' I stopped and looked at Kochappan. He was listening and the he asked me ''what did you learn?''

'' 'Our job is to choose a good venue for a conference and not to give training to the hotel staff where they were wanting in services. Utilize time and energy in productive work' '' that is what I learned from him.'' I replied.

I have mentioned to you earlier about my proficiency in arithmetic esp in adding. I didn't want to perform badly.
'' I have become knowledgeable after I worked with people like him'' I added.
'' I have become quite knowledgeable in Electrical Engineering because of my intelligence, and ability to relate to others what I know which is a must in a career in selling'' I added once again; making it two in a row.
Kochappan looked at me and then he spoke '' Aniyan. You obviously have learned a lot from people like me and Kulkarni, and also from your experience in the Electrical engg company. I have a doubt which I have been wanting to clarify. People use, and we all talk about 'Voltage' and 'Current'. What is the difference. Can you tell me in simple words about them?''his query was genuine.

We Menons are used to handling complex issues and not simple ones.But for the sake of Kochappan I ventured to do it.

'' They are inter related. you may not understand it easily.I will explain to you. Voltage is something from which you get shock and Current is something for which you pay the bill every month'' I replied with confidence.
I have seen many expressions on Kochappan's face when I have imparted such knowledge to him on earlier occasions .
You may have seen the computer 'hanging'; it stays put, nothing moves. On listening to my answer Kochappan attained that status ; He hung. He rebooted after few seconds.

'' I would like to tell you about few other things I have learned from others who shares this blog with you'' I wanted to continue.

'' Not today Aniyan. One cannot take more than one such example in day. Keep it for another day'' said Kochapps.

I was moving out when he called me from behind and said '' I want to see Mr. Kulkarni when he comes to Kochi next.''

'' Sure'' I said.''He is great''I added. .I added for the third time in a day; remarkable achievement at that.

'' He shoud be.'' said kochappan, '' for him to have managed sales of such a big company with such knowledgeable people like you''.

'' But not many like me. I was an exception'' .Humility didn't prevent me from claiming that.

'' Sure there may not have been many who could explain 'Voltage' and 'current' as simple as that''. He accepted and in appreciation of me he smiled and added.

'' Despite you that company did well. Great company and great manager this Mr.Kulkarni''.

I went to bed with the satisfaction of having contributed to the image of the company and my manager. Great day!

Kochappan, Bullshit, and Honeymoon.

Let me refresh your memory.

I stood like the remnants of the city of Baghdad after Kochappan made an indirect reference to ' bullshitting one's way to top and not being able to hold on there on it's strength alone. I was so shaken by his reference to the ' output of the bull' I had not called him up. No I don't hate him for saying it because he means good when he expresses;bluntly at times.

He called me up today. '' Did you feel bad about my conversation with you?'' Without waiting for my answer he spoke on.It was thus.

'' A little bird was flying south in the winter.It was so cold that it froze and fell to the ground in a large field. while it was lying there a cow came and dropped some dung on it. As the bird lay there in the pile of cow dung it began to realise how warm it was; after a cold spell.It lay in warmth hoping to gain strength and fly again. Hearing the humming of the bird, a cat passing by discovered it and ate him.'' he paused. I cleared my throat to let him know that I was listening

And then he said '' Not every one who drops shit on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
And when you are in deep shit keep your mouth shut''.

I am not your enemy when I tell you to improve. Don't write a blog on my comments and tell everybody to read it. Keep your mouth, and computer shut on such matters. It's between me and you. Others may not understand it; the way I communicate to you''

'' They do understand.'' I clarified.

"Aniyan. 'Honeymoon' is derived from the Babylonians who declared 'Mead' , a honey flavoured wine, as the official wedding drink, stipulating that the bride's parent be required to keep the groom supplied with the drink for a period of one month''. He paused.

Then when he spoke his voice was soft '' Our Honey moon should not be for one month it should go on ; so long as you write and I can comment.''

I kept the receiver down. Switched off the light and went to bed. It was cold.I got under a blanket .I was like the tiny bird under the cow dung; cosy and warm.

'Not everybody who drops shit on you is your enemy'. Kochappan's words echoed.
I succumbed to his words and sleep.

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan the demolisher

My meeting with him lasted only for ten minutes. I went to him with I-scored-over-you feeling ; elated. But it didn't last long.

He demolished me. He rinsed me in what Samsung calls 'Tumble wash' ; BPL SANYO calls it 'Fuzzy logic' wash.
The less written about it the better.But still I want to let you know.It will be short but not sweet for me.
Here is it. Kochappan spoke without even wishing me and he spoke thus.

''Once upon a time, Aniyan, there were these friends; one turkey and a bull. The turkey had a desire to climb a huge tall tree perch there and see the world from top.

The turkey told the bull one day ''I have great desire to go up and perch on the top but I don't have the energy to do it''.

''You nibble bit of my droppings every day. It has got nutrients and will give you enough energy
to fly up and rest on top'' said the bull.
The turkey started eating the dung of the bull every day and found that it could reach branches higher up as days passed by.And finally after two weeks of this routine the turkey reached the top most branch and perched there happily.But it's happiness was short lived. A farmer spotted the turkey on top of the tree and shot it down.'' Kochappan paused, looked straight at me, and then added with reference to my creative attempt of correcting The Hindu article.

''Bullshit can take one to the top, but it won't keep one there for long''.

Grouch Marx had told somebody once '' I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception.'' Kochappan didn't say it to me. But the look on his face said it all.

The remnants of Aniyan stood there like the city of Baghdad bathed in the moonlight ; demolished,plundered,savaged;not by Bush of US ofA but by Kochappan 'The demolisher'

Kochappan,Bradd Pitt and ' The Hindu'.

The sky was overcast throughout the day. At 7.30 in the evening it started to rain. I was in an auto to Kochapp's place. I reviewed the happenings after I met him last.

I spoke to Gopal alias Kovalannan ( in Trivandrum style) about improving my writing skills to impress Kochappan. I was bent on impressing Kochapps ; as bent as the the 14th bent in the Mettupalayam-Ootty ghat route.One of the suggestions given was to make some changes and improve the writing of articles in the English dailies like The Hindu or Indian Express. This evening I was going prepared.

The TV serial actor Soman died in a bus accident at Alleppy. I mentioned about the news in the papers. He nodded his head and said that he had also read about it.

'The Hindu has not reported it correctly'' I said with confidence ; with the same confidence as Advaniji on the day of no confidence motion.
''correctly.?'' he asked. '' What is wrong.?''

'' Twelve dead in a bus accident.Seventy three injured.
Among the dead is the famous serial actor Soman.' was the headline. such a known actor and a casual mention? That's wrong'' I answered.

'' This headline can be in many styles'' kochappan said.
As usual he had a large peg of fresh air and wore the look of a scholar and continued '' One is the
type you mentioned the others could be

' Major bus accident in Alleppy
Twelve dead and seventy injured.Among the dead is the famous serial actor Soman'

' Soman famous serial actor dies in an accident.
Twelve dead, seventy injured'

' Private superfast crashes against a tree
Twelve people including serial actor dead
Brake failure is reported to be the cause'

Kochapps paused again for a large and having satisfied himself continued

'' The number of people dead is the main point in the 'The Hindu' headline
In the second the stress is on the place, Alleppy , where the accident took place. Importance is given to one of the dead, like the actor in the third one, and the type and cause of the accident is given prominence in the fourth one. All are correct. It depends on the news and the factor which a paper values that decides the style of title. The Hindu never errs, aniyan, it never does'' he concluded and had another large. If the 'larges' he had were what others have he would have been flat out on the floor. But he stood erect like the 'Statue of Liberty' ; if you have any prejudice against the a fore mentioned statue I would suggest the 'Eiffel Tower'.

We Menons donot take setbacks lying down. I had another ace up my sleeve. I took that out; a paperclip from The Hindu of Monday the 14th July. Gave it to him. He read it aloud.

' Twins for Angelina Jolie'
Oscar award winner Angelina has given birth to twins on saturday evening at the Lenval waterfront hospital ..... . The Actor Bradd Pitt, the twins father, was believed to be at her side'

''If I were a reporter for The Hindu I would have made a correction.'' I told Kochapps point blank.

''Like what'' he, with raised eye brows.

I followed the suit. I with my raised eyebrows, not as bushy as his, yet. ''The verb is placed wrongly. It should have been 'The Actor Bradd Pitt , believed to be the twins father,was at her side'.

Have seen people freezing or frozen ?. You should have seen Kochapps. He froze. he was a block of hard ice. Few moments passed. The room was hot . The placement of the verb as I did , took him by shock. He never thought I could be this creative. He started melting. He transformed from a frozen block to small pool of cold water.

Today he did not walk to his bedroom.He flowed like a small rivulet ; leaving a wet trail on the vitrified tile floor.

I sat back happy and contented; probably like Bradd Pitt believed to be the father of Angelina's twins !!

Kochappan the critic.

Kochappan quoted.

When he wants to drive home, he drives like anybody else, but when he wants to drive home a point, he quotes;that's what he did. we were having dinner in 'The Renaissance' at Kochi . He was at kochi on a holiday.

'' You have been writing for some time now'' he said.'' I have not made any comments about your writing or style of speaking in English till now, have I?.''

''No'' quoth I ; earnestly.

'' First of all please understand that by using high sounding words like 'quoth, loath, or both you won't become a good writer''.

He quoted Eleanor Roosevelt. '' One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it's expressed in the choices one makes.. . In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves.And the choices we make are our responsibility'. Have you heard this before?''. He asked me.

'' The name sounds familiar but Iam not able to place him exactly'' I replied.He gave me a look like the one Manmohan singh gave to Prakash Karat when the latter went to tell him that his party will not accept the 123 Agreement ; in utter disbelief and desperation. After taking few minutes and two swallows of white wine he asked me '' You know why I quoted those words'' .

''No'' I replied.

'' Like Roosevelt said your writing is not best expressed in words especially in English and the choices of your style is atrocious.''

At the cost of repetition, for your awareness, I should say that we Menons, esp the fragile ones like me, don't like being put down, even by other Menons. I kept a sullen face; like Thilakan when he was told that he is not getting the 'Bharath award for the best actor this year.

Kochappan continued.He does it without much prompting.
'' We were coming from Kottayam to Kochi once and you took a wrong turn somewhere. You stopped the car and asked a pedestrian the way to Main central road to proceed to Kochi. Instead of telling him that you have lost your way and asking the way to M.C.Road do you remember what you spoke to him.?''

'' No'' replied I.

'' This was your talk with him'' he quoted me this time. You beckoned him and said '' To put it to you in short, this man and I started from Kottayam at twilight. Having motored down slowly, we, to our dismay found that darkness has overtaken us, and lost direction.Could you please enlighten us on our present position in relation to M.C.Road which will take us to Kochi, from where if you travel 75 kms you will reach Thrissur which is the place through which you go to Guruvayoor .'' He stopped quoting me and continued.
'' If he were more muscular he would have changed your shape and thereby your destiny also.''

Very rarely does one get reviews from him ; so I listened.

''You claim that you can write copy for advertisements. You are not bad. But there again lack of
skill is evident. You wrote a slogan for that Flying club starting it's operations at Kochi.
' To All Trainee Pilots ! Our new crash course will qualify you for your flying licence in just two months' . Will any body join a pilot training where crash courses are offered.?'' He paused for a moment or so and reflected.

Except from a small location on the surface of his head wherefrom the light reflects a little during a sunny day, he doesn't reflect in the literal sense.
He continued '' You, like most of the Keralites have a feeling that you know everything when you know a little. You try to show off.'' His voice became thick and accusing.

'' When you told me that your building contractor has a habit of telling lies I suggested to you to tell him straight that he is lying. How did you tell him that?.''

'' I told him straight that he has a habit of falling into the error of 'terminological inexactitude'.''

He turned red like Brinda karat on learning about 123 agreement. ''You expect him to refer your words to Ms Rosemary ,HOD, Communicative English, of Rajagiri Institute of Management studies and understand what you meant.''

The lights in the restaurant were being dimmed. Most of the guests had left. Kochappan had the last scoop of the dessert and looked up.I was put down so badly by him that I had difficulty in collecting my fragments from under the table, and the floor, and putting it together to resurrect myself.

''Are you hurt by my comments.?'' he asked me sincerely. I forced a smile but answered equally sincerely.'' No. I want to improve and I will.''

The car carrying him to the airport receded from my vision. I turned into the lane in which I live. Few rain drops fell on me; the first few announcing the arrival of the monsoon.
My friendship with Kochappan is not founded in business but his business of advising me is founded on friendship. I have to go by it.
It's almost three in the morning.

'Three'oclock is too late or too early to start anything you want to do' said Sartre.
I agree with him.
I stretched on the bed. Ran the conversation back and forth until gradually sleep reduced me to nonexistance.

Menon ( aniyan )

In the 1940s a British traveller to Anholt, a small island fifty miles out in the Kattegat, between Denmark and Sweden, noticed some island children singing a piece.

' Jeck og Jill
vent op de hill
og Jell kom tombling down.'

This ditty had been brought to the island by occupying British soldiers during Napoleonic wars.
This rhyme has been in circuit for the 130 years or more.

This traveller would have heard the same nursery rhyme if he had walked through the Chittor road in Kochi from an old, but elegant building; the voice emanating from the throat and heart of Kochappan ; such was his learning and proficiency in English even those early days when English was all Latin and French to most of us.

On the morning of 2 July of 1881, President James Garfield accompanied by his secretary of state, James Blaine was passing through the Central station in Washington, DC, to spend a holiday in New Jersey, when Charles Guiteau, a lawyer, walked up to him and shot him point blank with a .44 calibre pistol. To provide some comfort for the ailing President the core of Naval Engineers was called in to provide a cooling device in his hospital room. They rigged up a large iron box filled it with ice, salt , water and Terry cot filters saturated with melting ice.

Iam not the president of a country nor is Kochappan member of that team who provided the President with melting ice. But whenever I had been deserted by words, thirsty for words , real thirsty, he had been providing me with words which could melt into a sentence and quench my thirst too.

He is the one who gave me the definition of 'Happiness' as 'Having a large , loving ,caring family in another city.'
'' In these days of sophistication and modernity'', he told me, ''things are not 'Stolen' but 'differently acquired' ''.

He told me that 'Abraham Lincoln was the greatest President of America' and not the
' greatest Precedent ' as I have been mentioning. He chided me once saying that Iam the reason for ' global warming.'

After having worked in the USA and UK ,he gave me some insight about those places.
''In U.S'' he told me once, ''dancing with a girl, mostly, is a perpendicular action of a horizontal desire''.

''The sun never sets in the British Empire because, even God doesn't trust an English man in darkness.'' he added. He does that often without any provocation; love for Arithmetics probably.
The only time he subtracts is when you ask him his age.

He pointed out the subtle difference between 'Desire ' and 'Wish' to me.
He told me that I have a 'desire' to write. Desire shows a strong intention to do something and it's normally within reach. 'Wish' is almost the same but gives a sense that it is un attainable. I 'wish' I could write, or sing etc.

He is the one who taught me that 'Log on' is not adding wood to the fire place, and that 'Hard drive' is not a trip through the MC road in Kerala. '' A Mouse pad, aniyan, is not where the mouse lives.'' he told me with patience.

Can I call up such a person and tell him '' Hai Iam aniyan. Long time no see''. That's why I haven't mentioned about him for the last two months. I was diffident to intrude.

One doesn't dare call him. The best one can do to catch his attention is to clear the throat. I did that. Having come to know that Kochappan is at Kochi I rang him up at his hotel and cleared my throat. He acknowledged my presence and told me that he would meet me soon.

His voice came to me over phone. Next, it would be him in person.

'If winter comes can spring be far behind?''.


Menon ( aniyan )

Sarkozy,Carla and Kochappan

Gentlemen ! ( even if you are not one please go ahead and read !)

My mind was not neither in e mail nor fe males for quite some time; to be precise for almost two months. It's an issue which has been of concern for the Govt of India and me. Believe me, it is such an issue.

Mr.Kochappan, whose wiser counsel I seek on such occasions of predicament was away in Kottayam.

I was lost without his guidance. I was standing at a place where 'Two roads diverged into the woods' and I had to choose the right one. The only other person who had faced a similar situation in his life could be the poet Robert Frost; no one else to my knowledge.

Sitaram Yechuri and Prakash karat had whisked Kochappan away to Kottayam to to reconcile the warring factions of Pinarayi and Achumama. Such is Kochappan's counselling capacity.

I got him over phone at Kottayam; trifle late at night. From his tone I guessed that he was nursing a drink; he nurses only a drink or two at night these days; nothing else; age is catching up.

'' Iam anxious, so is Manmohan Singh, and the Foreign Affairs ministry,'' I said.

'' Regarding what?'' His questioning skill was evident.

'' About the visit of the French Premier Sarkozy and his woman Carla to India'' I replied in one breath.

'' Don't beat around the bush as Jyothi Basu does on Capitalism and Communism'' Kochapps warned.

'' Manmohan Singh is happy about Sarkozy's visit to India, but the Foreign affairs ministry has reservations about his girl friend Carla acompanying him. She cannot be accorded an official welcome. Prime Ministers should not be allowed to visit India with their living-in girl friends.''
I paused for breath and continued. '' Even Clinton had the sense not to bring Monica with him when he came here. He came alone to India. May be Monica would have come separately. But never together. Sarkozy can come alone but not with Carla. If she desires so she should come separately not with him .'' I put across my points of view bluntly to Kochapps.

There was a pregnant silence. Kochappan by habit weighs options before giving opinions. While he was weighing I had another gulp of fresh air and waited for his verdict .

'' Aniyan, how can India ever tell Sarkozy that he and Carla should not come together. A s a boy friend and girl friend they can come together or separately. And Sarkozy cannot dictate when Carla should come; he can make attempts to make her come when he wants her to come or delay it or prevent it, but then it is not fully in his hands. You must understand that it is even beyond Carla to decide whether and when she should come. So I suggest you don't worry whether they come separately or together. It's a family matter. It's Physiological, Aniyan, it's Physiological'' He disconnected.

As it happens always I couldn't understand what has Physiology got to do with Carla and Sarkozy coming together at the same time.

I want clarification and will ask him when he returns from Kottayam; but then if he and Brinda Karat are coming together even that may not be possible!


menon ( aniyan )