Worst spell of bowling , Sreesanth and Kochappan

I was at the wheel. We were nearing Alwaye. It would take another half an hour to reach the airport.

"The flight is on time. I want to be there when it lands,'' said Kochappan.

Hold on. You might be wondering what is Kochappan doing at Kochi. He flew in day before yesterday to receive Sreesanth returning after the Twenty20 match; hence the trip to airport.

'' Hurry, or else I will miss the boat'' quoth Kochapps in OE. I did not, as usual, understand the afore mentioned reference to 'missing the boat' when one is proceeding to the airport.

I sought clarification with reluctance. He gave me a look; something similar to what Dhoni gave to Sreesanth, who in a benevelent mood, gave twenty runs in his first over.

'' To miss the boat in figurative language means to miss the excitement'', he explained. Figurative language? but I didn't proceed further.

Soon as we reached the airport. Kochappan took off, like Carl Lewis, to the terminal. The airport was a sea of humanity. We stood and watched the frenzy of people. I could see Sree accompanied by three people coming out.

'' The one on the left is Mathew Varghese, ex-captain of Kerala Ranji team'', said Kochappan.

'' I know'' said I. '' I have seen this former captain's photograph in newspapers'' I added. Iam not good in Arithmetics", still I added vehementally.

'' He is not the former captain. He is the ex-captain,'' came kochapps.

'' That's what I also said'' I retorted.

'' There is a difference . Rahul Dravid was the captain of Indian team; so was Sourav Ganguly.
when you refer to Rahul you should mention him as ex-captain because he was the immediate past captain. But Saurav and Tendulkar are former captains because they preceded Rahul.
Abdul Kalam is the ex-president of India whereas Dr.Radhakrishnan and Zakir Hussain are former presidents of India, '' Kochappan stopped. I looked at him with reverance; the variety with which people were looking at Sreesanth.

Seeing an oppurtunity to get close to Sreesanth I hurried up to him. He recogonised me and we talked. He has not forgotten his old college mate. I was elated. I looked at Kochappan from the corner of my eye. Kochappan was standing with his jaws fallen; on seeing me talking to Sree.
I reminded to collect his fallen jaw and to restore it it's ex- postion and not the former position.
Last time he did it himself.

'' Why didn't you tell me that you knew him earlier,'' asked Kochappan in a hurt tone. his jaw may have been aching.

I kept silence. Very rarely do I keep it with me. This time I did.

'' What did you two speak ?'' he was curious. I felt bad that I did not tell him about my friendship with Sree. I apologised. He accepted.

'' We remembered our old days to gether and I also mentioned about his bad spell of bowling in the last over," I replied.

'' You shouldnot have done that today,'' Kochapps opined

'' He has always had this problem even when he was in school,'' I opened the history book.

'' Our English teacher was our Cricket coach also. Whenever he had asked Sree to spell 'Bowling' Sree used to spell it 'boulin'. The master then used to say that that is the worst spell of 'bowling' he has had from any body.'' I closed the history book.

Kochappan jerked , twisted and convulsed in his seat. Then there was silence. I could listen to it.
I dropped him at his home and these were his parting words.

'' Aniyan, you are a humble man but you have nothing in you to be otherwise''

I didnot quite get it. He was probably upset about my mention about the worst spell of bowling to Sreesanth!

I will ask him tommorow.

menon ( aniyan )

Kochappan, achu mama,and cabbages

Dr.S.B.Misra, who gave up his career as a geologist in North America to return to India to fulfill his dream of building a 'village school' in Lucknow, was in for a surprise when he saw an e-mail in his inbox. It informed him of a rare honour of a 565 million year old 'Fossil' being named after him by the Govt of Canada. His discovery, the oldest record of multicellular life on earth, is now called 'Fractofusus Misrai'.

I do not know whether you can picturise the expression of surprise and excitement of a UP-born Misra at that time. Probably, if the regional prejudices cloud your vision, I can recommend
your imagining the south Indian face of Kochappan showing the same excitement in seeing a
fe-male instead of an e-mail in his office when he reaches there. E-mails rarely excite him; for you and me the difference in one alphabet would be another mistake in spelling, but for Kochapps, it's different; like the advertisement of Maggie hot and sour tomato ketchup; it's different.

May I remind you at this juncture that I have not met Kochapps for almost a month. We had a lot to discuss, from 123 Agreement to the reforms in administration of 'Achu mama', the CM of Kerala.

'' Achu mama is very innovative and is doing lot of good for the state in particular, and for the country in general. Achumama is a patriot. He contributes to India with all his might from Thiruvanantapuram.'' I observed without prejudice.

'' Can you give me one example ?'' asked Kochapps in a sarcastic tone.

'' I can site an example of his innovativeness'' I volunteered. Normally I don't volunteer but for Achu mama I did.

''The city streets are choking because of the increase in number of vehicles, resulting in traffic jam. Achu mama has come out with an innovative idea to overcome this problem, '' I said with pride and added a little dignity also to it ; like lime to Gin or Coke to rum.

''Tell me more'', sarcasm in tone had not left Kochapps fully.

'' No cars will be allowed to ply in the cities without filling it's full seating capacity and two wheelers should necessarily have a pillion rider also''. I gave the overall picture.

Kochappan's jaws fell .You may have seen a mango or coconut falling from their respective trees but you may not have seen ' jaws' falling. Kochappan's jaws fell. Picturise it please.

He collected his fallen jaw back (the lower one), reinstated it and asked '' Does it mean that I cannot go out in a car if only I and my wife are going out.? Does it mean that I have to collect another two people to fill up the seating capacity? I have heard of the idea of car sharing being encouraged but what is this all about?''

'' This rule gives rise to generation of additional employment these days '' I informed.

'' Additional employment opportunity ?'' He was at loss; his 'Balance Sheet' was affected very badly.

'' Assume a situation when only you and your wife are there to go by car for shopping, outing or for a quiet drive. You can ring up agencies (which will be set up) who will provide you people on hire to be your co-passengers.You can specify sex, age, height, weight, complexion etc to your taste and choose them. This generates lot of employment. This will be so for two wheeler owners also. Brilliant and innovative idea!'' I commented.

Kochappan slumped. These days he is unable to understand harsh realities of life. He needs help to move to his bedroom. He felt dizzy. Achu mama's innovative ideas have left him dazed.

I covered him with a sheet up to his chest and bid good bye for the day and then he spoke.

'' You told me about fossils. Your Achu mama and most of the politicians who govern us are fossils. Do you know where they should be?''. Before I could think of an answer he said it.

''They are useless on the top of the ground. They should be underneath; inspiring cabbages ''

I knew that the likes of Achumama can inspire lot of people but till Kochapps said it I didn't know that they can inspire even cabbages !!!

menon ( aniyan)